I caught him...but I don't want to leave

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2004
I caught him...but I don't want to leave
4
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 5:27pm
Thursday night I busted my boyfriend of nearly 2 years. But, somehow he has managed to "lie" his way out of it. Although I don't believe him, I want to so bad. I'm really confused.

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I have never snooped through any of his stuff, because honestly I didn't WANT to know the truth. But, that night I had some weird notion to do so. We were both going shopping together and he went inside a convenient store to use the bathroom on the way back from the mall. I checked his phone to find a large ammount of girl's phone numbers in there. Amanda,Brittany,Jennifer,Lindsey...and a ton of others. Girls who I have NEVER heard of. Except for Lindsey and that was his last girlfriend before me. That he supposedly never talks to anymore.

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He came back to the car, and I said NOTHING. We go to eat at the Outback, he goes inside to check how long it will be before we can be seated. His phones rings. I decide...."What the hell..I'm answering it!" It was another girl. She asked for him and I said sure hang on a minute...and I saw him walking back to the car and I quickly hung it up and put the phone away. We ate...and afterwards I let him have it. He said that someone at work had given the girl his phone number, and he had only talked to her like 2 times. He said that she leaves him voicemails saying she loves him and that she's crazy. He actually let me listen to one. It said "Hey baby, I've been trying to get ahold of you. I'm going to my cousin's graduation, I'll call you around 11. I love you! bye" This does NOT sound like someone who's only talked to him 2 times! Sounds like he's been with her for quite sometime.

I am so hurt and confused. Please give me some words of encouragement and PLEASE bitch me out so that I will leave him. I have been suspicious of him cheating as well as using me for sex. I have never met his parents or friends. 2 years....I've put up with this...and now it's come to him cheating!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 7:05pm
Hi Kayla,

I'm so sorry you're going through this time... I know how it hurts.

What I'd like to know is: 1) Why don't you want to leave? and 2) How long has the trust issue been going on? When/Why did it start?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2004
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 8:26pm
I always suspected him to be using me for sex. Being that I've never met his family/friends and being that he only seems to want to see me whenever it's "convenient" for him...I never had a lack of trust as in cheating until about 2-3 months ago
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 8:37pm
So now the real question--why do you want to stay?!?!?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 9:06pm
Hello Kayla!


If you have been dating for two years, I'm curious... do you consider yourself to be exclusive? In other words, did you and he have agreement that you would not be dating anyone else?