Dating Suggestions??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Dating Suggestions??
4
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 2:40pm
Ok, I'm new here and thought I might be able to get some good advice.

I met this guy online, we starting communicating, and really clicked (in fact he is the only person I can honestly say I have clicked with in this manner). After a couple weeks of communicating through the online service, he gave me his phone number. I called him and again we clicked, he sent me his email addresses at this point. We talked again and at that point he asked if I wanted to meet. He lives a little over an hour away from me (not that great a distance) and he told me he would be in town for a gathering at a friends and asked if I wanted to meet him there. This would be my only opportunity to meet him because I was leaving for 2 weeks to work out of town. I agreed, in fact I thought this would be a much more relaxed way of meeting someone for the first time. And it was, we hit it off again in person (which was great because you never know once you meet them in person), I had a great time and his friends were great. I got a hug from him when I left, he said he was looking forward to getting to know me better and I told him I would call him when I got back in town. I called him when I got back, left a message....no response. So at this point I am thinking I am being blown off. A few days later I get an email from him saying that he sent me an email a couple days ago but had not heard from me and wondered if I was back. Technology failed us both, he did not get my message and I did not get his email what are the odds of that! Anyway, we chatted briefly via email and he told me he would be out of town over the weekend. The following week he sent me an email telling me that things had been very busy for him at work, he told me about his weekend trip and then said that he was going to be in town that next weekend and thought maybe we could hook up. He was here training for an upcomming marathon he was in, I send him an email back saying that this weekend sounds like fun and to call me and give me the details. I dont hear back from him for a few days, then he sends me an email on that Friday saying he would still like to get together and he will call me the next day. He calls and we discuss meeting the next day, but since he was not sure when he would be finished he could only give me a timeframe that he would call me.

Anyway, I dont hear from him! So of course I am dissappointed and ticked off. I decide to call him that evening and got his voice mail...in a very nice tone of voice I say that I was concerned when I did not hear from him and I hope everything is ok, then I say that I know he is busy training for this race and that I completely understand and why dont we wait and get together after the race (which was only a week away). I get an email from him the next morning saying he just got my message and thanks for my understanding, he says its not his way not to all like he did, says that his cell phone died on him the day before and that was the only place he had my number. Then he mentions again how busy he is at work and that he just wanted to send me a note to let me know everything is cool and that he apologizes for not calling me. (Not sure that I believe his lame excuse!)

I did not respond to his email and I have not heard from him since and I WILL NOT contact him....the race was this past Monday. Of course, I really did not expect to, I figured after he stood me up that that was it. What I dont understand is this, if he was not interested in me why would he go through all the trouble to make the plans and then stand me up! He could have just not contacted me at all or just sent me an email saying he doesnt want to see me again. I met him on eharmony, last week I noticed he closed me out, so I looked to see what reason he gives, and he put because we are communicating outside of eharmony. This would have been the easy way to let me know he was not interested, he could have chosen another reason. I dont get men!! I am left hanging.

Any thoughts??

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 2:51pm
Some people just have trouble being straightforward; he sounds like one of them. Just chalk it up and move on!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 2:54pm
The inconsistency would really bother me.
Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 3:30pm
Hello acjat!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 5:53pm
Thanks for all the good advise! I really had not thought about it as a communication problem, but you are right. Now sure why something so simple as just possibly getting to know someone is made so complicated....you either like someone or you don't. Simple.

ACJ