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dating question (news)
| Mon, 06-07-2004 - 12:20pm |
I called the guy yesterday since he sent me an e-mail (like nothing happened, as if He didn't sent the e-mail in which he was letting me know that he wasn't comfortable with the e-mail thing and that wanted at least to talk to me by phone)On the conversation he seemed nice and respectful. We talked for a while, he told me that he has three kids ( he's been divorced for 4 years). One of his sons (the older one) the 20 year old one lives with him but there's something I didn't like that he told me and is that his ex wife doesn't want him to see he's kids (the other two who are 11 and 13 years old) (it's been a year since that). That I didn't like since I'm wondering why she doesn't want him to see the kids. This guy is 43 years old I'm 33.
I asked him why she didn't let him see the kids and he didn't give me an answer as well, he just said that she was a violent person and on their marriage she use to beat him and stuff (that I didn't like also , because I'm thinking that maybe he has a bad temper or something , I don't know what to do , I'm confused. I've been single at my age since I have been very cautious and picky.
This morning I received an e-mail from him wishing me a good day and saying that he wanted to know me better since I sounded like a good girl.
I need some advice from you. I don't know if I've been TOO pick in my life or what . I'm not trying to pretend that I'm better than other people but I'm a good looking girl, smart and loyal and know that I have many good qualities. On my past relationships I have always be the one who broke up , If I notice something weird on a guy I run away. I don't wanna be hurt.

Trust your instincts! If something doesn't appear to be right with this man...it's a sure bet there's a puzzle piece or two you don't know about!
Try to remember that ANYBODY who has 3 children from a previous marriage isn't necessarily going to "share the entire story" with you. While the EX might have her reasons for denying the 11 and 13 year olds to see their Dad...it's entirely possible that Dad relinquished his right in some way? (He can always obtain the services of a lawyer, can't he?).
In reading your profile, Pianoguy noticed that most of the male encounters (your Dad as well as your 3 brothers) haven't been very happy! Do you think the past disappointments you've had with men could be bothering (or scaring) you a little? Your profile indicated that you hope to acquire some patience and become "a more positive person!"
Since you're planning a move (to Boston) in the not too distant future...it might be a good idea to work on your own personality first...instead of getting involved with a man who may or may not be the right guy for you?
The LAST thing you need is another hurt from another man!
Pianoguy
Thank's a lot for your advice "pianoguy". I'm in Boston already. I've been here for about two months . And trying to make new friends and who knows what else can happen. And doing that on a dating web was that I met this guy. I appreciate your advice. I'm analyzing the situation with this guy. But I really didn't like he's problems to see their sons. The 20 year old is from he's first girlfriend as he told me. I'm here trying to figure out what I'm gonna do, If I'll meet him in person or not.
Maybe my insecurities are because of the things I saw on my childhood between my mother and father and because of all the bad experiences I have had dating other guys.