Dazed and confused
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| Mon, 06-07-2004 - 12:27pm |
I am confused... and you will probably notice by the way my text is written... but I have so many questions. I started to date a guy about 9 months ago. I met him online and as soon as we started to chat I knew I was in trouble. I had been with my ex a very long time but it was not going good. To make a long story short I have left everything to move closer to him.
Since I got serious at a very young age I think that I haven't 'matured' in the feelings department. I am going through feelings that are so new to me... I am really deeply truly in love with this guy. He was sleeping over last night and I woke up at around 2:00 am and I was looking at him... and my heart was ready to explode. I want to marry him and have his kids... hahaha
The part that is confusing me.. but is probably normal to everyone else is this :
1) When I met him it was going to be like a fun thing, no strings attached. He is still studying and told me straight away that his studies were priority. He has made time for me throughout all of this and spends time with me a lot. I told him I love you early in the relationship and he was saying it too. But all of a sudden... he stopped saying it, as if he realised that it was meaningful. Since then my feelings have only increased and so have his, I can feel it. I asked him bluntly the other day what where his feelings for me and he said that he really likes me a lot... Every time I tell him that I love him... which I have stopped doing, he panics. He is a bit younger than me and he says that he is not ready for commitment. We are not seeing anyone outside this relationship. He has even called it that this weekend... I know that he is probably just affraid but that he really likes me. I have to learn to be more patient which is not easy, I am a very passionate person and it's driving me crazy. He often tells me to chill and to let things happen. Bottom line : is there hope of a future with a guy that says he doesn't want to commit?
2) Also, he hasn't told his family, which in a way is understandable since he wants to take his time. His buddies know about me. I asked him if I was not special enough and that it might be time to tell people.. He said I was really speacial but that he is not ready yet.
He hasn't told a friend of his... an ex lover... He is friends with her and has been for about 7 years. They kind of went through stuff together and I don't really mind the friendship in itself. I am a bit jealous of her... I have to admit it. He is the way he is today because he has met her, I really believe that. Should I be worried that she doesn't know about me yet? That girl lives in another country. He told me that he considers her as a sister. I wanted to let it slide and not think about it... if you ignore stuff sometimes it goes away. But last night he was at my place and she messaged him on his computer and I became very insecure. He told me she was online and he even told me why she was there, business, but it still bothered me because she doesn't know I exist!! Bottom line : if she is that important to him and he keeps secrets from her... will he do it to me too?
Can you give me hints or ways to handle this?
Allahia

Edited 6/8/2004 12:28 pm ET ET by allahia