would this be creepy or stalker like?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
would this be creepy or stalker like?
3
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 4:21pm
Do I chalk it up to snoozing and loosing or put myself out there?

Had a gals spa weekend this last weekend about an hour or so away from where we all live. Friday we met a few locals. Saturday we ran into one of the guys again, and we chatted and flirted quite a bit - super chemistry. He asked if I wanted to hang out after the bar, but I was super tired from the night before, and I couldn't take off from my friends. He protested and said but he'll never see me again, so I asked what he wants to do about it, and he said we should exchange some digits.

Cool, but for some reason everything was interruped in our group right then (this was a side conversation and someone else in our group started talking to us) and our attention went elsewhere. Soon the bar was closing and my friends were taking off, and I didn't see this guy as we were leaving. Today I'm bummed a little about it - this guy was so cute and nice!

How much effort (if any) is appropriate to contact him if we didn't give/get numbers? It's a small town, I know enough about him to easily find a number, but is that too weird or stalker-like

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 4:41pm
If its a small town, you will probably bump into him again at some point. Don't you think? My opinion is, he should have asked you for your phone number. Maybe he didn't have enough time, but I think he should have asked for it. On another note, I don't think it was polite of him to insist you abandon your friends. To me, this seemed somewhat manipulative of him. It was like he was doing a "now or never" on you. He wanted you to abandon your plans and your friends on the spur of the moment - then he didn't provide another option for getting to know you, like getting your phone number. Its not right for a man to insist that you "dump" everything for him when you don't even know him that well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 4:51pm
Thanks for your input. I didn't really feel like he was trying to manipulate me to do anything. He just asked if I wanted to hang out afterwards, and I said I was tired, and he was very polite and kind of teasing when he said, "But I might never see you again!" That's when he did say we should exchange numbers - and I said something about how I didn't have my cell on me (looking back it sounded like I was the one making excuses...). We were interrupted then and he went to get a drink and then they closed the bar and my friends were leaving and I didn't see him. I kinda felt like we snuck out when he wasn't looking. He had been talking to my friends all night too, so it wasn't like they wouldn't have been able to hang out with us too.

oy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 4:58pm
Oh, and while it's a small town, it's not my small town, it's about an hour away, so I'd have to go back there to actually run into him.

thanks again.