HELP!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2004
HELP!!!!
3
Tue, 06-08-2004 - 3:13pm
Hi all -

Quickly...I am in a relationship with a man I wouldn't give up for the world. Problem is, he's about as romantic as gravel. Both in and out of bed. He's otherwise a DREAM man...smart, gorgeous, funny, always makes time....but I need a little spark. I have fallen hard for him, but I know it could fade if he doesn't begin to make an effort in this department.

He is hands down the most sensitive man I have ever met. The last thing I want to do is make him feel inadequate - in and/or out of bed - or to hurt his feelings.

I'm planning on talking to him tonight about the subject....How do I tell a typical man that I need romance - in his language so he understands my needs & good intentions?

THANKS!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
In reply to: megan888888
Tue, 06-08-2004 - 5:59pm
I think you should be careful what you say. You can't change him, and you shouldn't try to change him. He is what he is. Its difficult for a lot of men to "be romantic". We can't expect them to be like the guys we read about in romance novels, or see in movies. I don't see why, if he really is your "dream guy", why there is a need to fix anything in the relationship. Nobody is perfect, and you may want to accept that he has some imperfections. If it were me, I wouldn't have the talk. But that is just my opinion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: megan888888
Tue, 06-08-2004 - 7:42pm
megan....

It's just a thought, but why not turn the topic around and ask your fella WHAT YOU CAN DO TO MAKE HIM FEEL MORE ROMANTICIZED? Granted...he might not "open up to you" at the beginning....but perhaps you can get him comfortable enough so he'll 'let his guard down' a bit?

Some women assume that ALL MEN have to make the first move or take the first step...but to be honest...many of us (Pianoguy included) love it when a woman takes the initiative and exercises a little passion. Your "Sir Galahad" might not feel completely confidant exercising his..."true sensitivity?" At least in your direction?

SO TELL HIM (OR SHOW HIM) WHAT YOU WANT!

Sometimes...the only way a man is gonna know how he can please a woman...is when she demonstrates the type of caresses, foreplay and stimulation that she wants from him. And once we know what it is that YOU want...and deliver the goods...you're gonna reciprocate when we ask YOU for something!

Your approach and the way you communicate your needs...MIGHT WAKE YOUR B/F UP ENOUGH TO TAKE THE INITIATIVE! It's something worth trying, isn't it?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
In reply to: megan888888
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 1:01pm
He is what he is.....we love men and then try and change them...I never got that.
Lilypie Baby Days