Help! Dont know what to do.....
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| Tue, 08-24-2004 - 5:32am |
My situation is:
I met this guy online about 3 or 4years ago, he's 24yrs old from Italy and im 18yrs old from New Zealand.
We started off just chatting online and emailed eachother, then when i really got to know him we exchanged our home address so we could write eachother letters and send eachother gifts and cards. Now we text eachother on our mobile phones everyday and we talk on the phone at least once a week (he's the one that mainly calls me). We know what eachother looks like from exchanging pictures and talking through webcams, i mean we both have a digicam and basically take pictures of everything and anything and share it with eachother.
Iv had doubts about this relationship a couple of times coz i just couldnt handle the fact that hes not here and yea....but he said he wouldnt let me go for no reason and that i have become a huge part of his life. So were still talking and getting to know eachother more and more and feelings growing more and more.
Lately iv had opportunities to date guys but i just cant coz of italy guy and its not just that i cant, its coz i also dont want to and i told him that. Recently i asked him if he thinks were together as in an official couple/long distance relationship or if its an open relationship or is it just a really deep friendship with feelings for eachother. He replied back saying "we can have all the open relationship we want but i still wouldnt wanna date nor see let alone fall for anyone but u and thats simply cause i love u, so i dont know what u might think but i think were together"...."and i wanna b with u only and i dont care bout what i have to sacrifice to show u im serious. i dont have just a crush on u, when i think of us i know it has to be way more serious after all this time that iv known u and i seriously believe in this thing we have and in the future i cant imagine bein wit no1 else but u"......
I remember asking him what his goal in life is on the phone and he said his goal is to be happy with some1, settle and find stability and then he said he shouldnt of said just some1 coz he had only me on his mind....
You peoples r prolly thinking why havent we met yet..... well theres the money problem (still on the process of saving up), hes still studying and working and im still working and going to be studying soon so yea... He offered to pay for half of my airfares a while ago but recently he offered to pay it all for my airfares, i told him i couldnt accept coz me in a person dont like taking things or asking for favours etc... but he told me to think about it and i have and i dont know what to do!! He would come to visit me but he also knows how much i want to see and experience Italy.
I know im still young, i mean come on im 18!! i use to ask myself what love is and iv found it...i know i have. I know how i met him online is kinda hmmmm but the long distance thing and how long weve kept in touch (i mean theres high school friends that just cant keep in touch) just proves to us how strong we are, we have shared sooo much (mayb not physically but weve shared everything thats around us and who we are in a person)
My problem is, im scared.... im scared that if we meet, things will change, but then again how can it change since weve known eachother that long!
I know im in love coz words can definately not described what and how i feel for this guy but i want to know from you people, is it possible to fall in love and communicate in every possible way with some1 u met online??
Should i take up his offer about the airfares? if i shoud would it be wrong if i stayed at his place instead of a hotel?
What would u do?
Thanx!

I find it hard to understand why anyone who really wants a relationship would choose to seek it with someone who lives so far away. That kind of distance just doesn't make it at all viable, especially when money is an issue.
My suggestion is that you not go any further with this, because even if you meet and everything is great, you won't be able to have the kind of relationship with each other than involves spending time with each other in person. It would be a virtual relationship only, and you'd be missing out on all the fun and growth experience that takes place when people date in the real world. While your peers in relationships are going out on dates, you'll be sitting at the computer typing. How much fun is that on a Saturday night?
If you feel you still must meet him after considering everything else I've said, insist that he come to your country and make sure he stays in a hotel. That would be the safest way to go about this. I guarantee you he won't come if he's not for real and you might find he's not what you thought even if he does. It's much better to find that out on your home territory.