common scenario: men and calls!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
common scenario: men and calls!
3
Tue, 08-24-2004 - 4:09pm
Hi! I posted here too many times about a guy im casually dating, with whom I want more but I simply can ask him for more. Instead I keep doing subconsciouly all this things that I guess drives him away (because i dont wan to get hurt!!).

Weel, anyhow, last wed i went out with a bunch of friends (i was pretty low because of priffessional issues), not too chatty or sexy. This friend of a friend told her he felt an inmediate attraction as soon as he saw me, but i didnt know. At the end, when we where saying goodbyes, he starts talking to me, etc,etc. He wanted all of us to have bfast 2gether (guess to keep talking?). We diddnt but he offered to drive me hoome, my gfriends told me to go, that they knew him, that he was a nice guy, etc...

On my way home, he was very interest in my life, he said that he felt something as soon as he saw me, and my stuff, and kept asking when we were going to go out on a date, etc,etc (it was wed, he wanted on thursday). But i was still hung up on the other guy and how attracted im to him, so i didnt care less, I just told him to phone and we´ll see. He wrote my nro on his cel and even call to check that the nro i gave was correct. I mention i love movies, soo he told me to see a movie on friday, and ask again if he should call. I said (i guess not to eager) to yes call and arrange that day. I kissed hi on the cheek, he waited till i enter the apt and was gone.

I NEVER HEARD FROM HIM AGAIN!!! its hasnt been a week, but he said about a date on last friday....

His best friend was going to spain on sat (to live there), but he knew this, so why the plans, why so insistent about seeing me ???!!

I mean I was all over him or anything (in a way that maybe he told me that to scape) , so why?

My friends haven heard from him yet, some say its a jerk, other to wait.

What should i do?

Men and women 2 cents, please???
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 12:09pm
He could have realized later that maybe he seemed to eager and decided to play it cool. Its only been a week.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 1:46pm
There's a million different reasons that he didn't call, don't beat yourself up over them. Just carry on with your life, and if he does call, talk to him. Don't go out of your way to find out what happened, the less you seem to care, the better. His loss, don't you think?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 2:23pm
By any chance were you in a drinking environment when you met him? I suspect so since he wanted to go for breakfast afterward. People often do and say things when they are drinking and change their minds when they wake up sober, so keep that in mind.

You wrote, "he said that he felt something as soon as he saw me, and my stuff, and kept asking when we were going to go out on a date, etc." Your "stuff" was likely your body, the attraction to you purely physical, and your less-than-eager response to him made him realize that he probably wouldn't be getting horizontal with you anytime soon. And actually that's a pretty good way to weed out guys who are primarily interested in sex.

He doesn't know anything about you as a person, and therefore he is not rejecting you as a person. You really can't take this personally because there is nothing personal about it. It's likely that your frustration regarding the other guy you're dating is causing you to question your worth so that every encounter with the opposite sex takes on way too much meaning.

I suspect that the reason you feel unable to ask for what you want from the guy you're dating is because he has given you every indication that he doesn't want you in the same way. You feel you'll lose him entirely if you push for more. If he isn't meeting your needs, and you don't think he wants to, you are setting yourself up for unending pain and it's driving you to overreact to this situation. Think about letting your casual guy go without trying to replace him immediately. A little time between guys will help you put things into perspective. You are a worthy person without a man in your life, and until you realize that a man won't make you whole or give you self-esteem you won't get what you want in life.