Should I say no when I mean yes?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2004
Should I say no when I mean yes?
3
Tue, 08-24-2004 - 4:21pm
OK, I am new to the dating thing, about 2 months exactly. I am 30 years old, guys think I am very cute and single.I have gone on a few dates with this one guy who would basically do almost anything I say, totally crazy for me. So of course, i am not attracted.

Now I have gone on 2 dates with this guy I could potentially be crazy about. The first date was amazing, there was a definate mutual attraction. He was very cool, dressed great, funny and cute with a very good social life. We ended up kissing for hours in the rain and with some major sparks. Granted we were both drinking and at a bar (we kissed outside, no mushy pda) but still there was something. He emailed me the next day and said it was oneof the most unique dates (in a good way) he had ever been on. This was last Thursday. We didn't go out again until Monday and I went to his townhouse to watch football with his roommate. Another great time, he has a cool roommate and we all had fun together. They are both bachelors and had the typical bachelor pad to boot. the roommate ended up going to bed and we "made-out" for at least 2 hours. He invited me upstairs, I accepted but it was very innocent. No clothes were removed and it was purely "make-out". Oh and yes, there was drinking involved but again, the mutual attraction and conversation is amazing.

I am reallly interested in this guy but am afraid of scaring him off with over forwardness. He emailed today, day after 2nd date, and said again it was amazing , he wants to know more about me and to name a time and place. This is where I feel I could be to accessable. I said tomorrow but I don't want to "rush" anything and I want to keep the excitement there. He isn't a guy who has problems finding dates and neither am I but still, I don't want to come off as desparate or anything. I do have a 9 month old baby, he has no children. The reason I said tomorrow is because i just happen to have a sitter. Please help me! I don't want to scare him off. Should I cancel and say I have something else going on????

thanks so much, Carrie

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-24-2004 - 4:28pm
Of course not. Do you want to play games or do you want an adult relationship????

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-24-2004 - 4:48pm
I agree and since he told you to name the time and place, I'd suggest you name something like dinner and a movie, and not something like beer and a DVD at his place. Don't you want to slow down the physical stuff a bit so you can determine if your mutual attraction is based as much on personality and common interests as it is on physical attraction aided by alcohol?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-24-2004 - 5:51pm
Well, the guy is primarily interested in getting to know you Biblically - he's not prioritizing and planning and taking you places to get you to know as a person.

I'd say you can't scare him off - by be willing and able to engage in whatever physical activity he wants to engage in without obligation or communication.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com