What the...?

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
What the...?
9
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 12:15am
Hello everyone!

I want to raise the age-old question again...why don't guys call when they say they will???

I went to a club on saturday with a friend of mine(who is a guy,not that it's relevant lol),well we both kinda wanted to go off on our own to talk to people(i.e. get some numbers)I am kind of shy so I didn't want to really,was afraid to be myself looking stupid. But I said ok,and he went off. I was standing there checking out the guys when this really hot guy who works at the club came over to my table to throw away some beers. I decided to make conversation with him by asking him if he had a cigg(I know,BAD for me)and he gave me one,and then somehow I got the nerve to tell him I thought he was cute lol and he said thanks,so are you. Then he said he'll be back(he had to go from table to table).I wasn't drunk but I was definetly buzzed. I went to the bathroom and came back and he came over to me again,said he was looking for me=) So we chatted for a bit,asked him his name,where he's from,etc.(I knew I couldn't talk to him long cuz he was working). He seemed into me,he would kinda touch hold my hand or put his arm around me,it was really subtle. I went to go look for my friend and told him I would see him around. After that,when he would pass by me he would wink at me. I went up to him again and asked if he would want to talk on the phone or go out and he said that he was going to philadelphia for 3 days and would call me on tuesday. I went to right my number down and I gave it to him. He then went to write his down and gave it to me. He told me to come to him before I leave. A little later I went to him and told him I was leaving,and he said he would call me tuesday and we hugged then I left.

Unfortunatly,I didnt have pockets so I tucked his number in my pants lol. Well on the way home my friend and I needed to stop because we really had to pee,so we stopped on the side of the road and did our business. It was after we were back on the road that I realized that the number had fell out when I was doing my business. So now I don't have his number.

He was suppose to call today but he didn't :-( Should I take that as a sign it wasn't meant to be?? He seemed into me,don't u think? It really bothers me because I have no way of getting a hold of him,I only know his first name. I could call the club but that will seem desperate.Not only that but there could be someone else there by his name or I could get him in trouble or what if he's not there that night? Maybe I should give it a few more days? What do u think?

By the way,I told him that night that the guy I was with was just a friend,just so he didn't get weirded out,he said it was ok.

Thanks for listening to me ramble!

Krissy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to:
Fri, 08-27-2004 - 10:23am
Hello Krissy!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
In reply to:
Fri, 08-27-2004 - 1:13pm
That list is SO true, and funny.

"I'll call ya" is how a guy says "goodbye". Its on the Y-chromosome. It means NOTHING. Do not call him even if you find number. If you go back to club/bar and see him, let him come up to you. You, either ignore him, act indifferent, and say nothing but "hi" with a smile unless he initiates conversation. Don't ask him why he didn't call you. Just be polite, nice, and happy. He will be intrigued more than likely if you act nonchalant. Date others, have fun. Don't think about it. Move on.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
In reply to:
Fri, 08-27-2004 - 4:37pm
So true ,

I'll call you is goodbye.

I do think that if someone was intereseted they would ask things like

what are your plans next Friday or would you like to go out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
In reply to:
Fri, 08-27-2004 - 5:21pm
When I see lists like this, I think it's sad state of affairs when people can't be honest with each other and treat others with respect. We are flesh and blood humans, with feelings, dreams, goals. We are not objects to be disposed of just because someone's needs were fulfilled.

I think it's even more sad that people just shrug their shoulders and say things like, "well, that's the way it is," or "that's just how men are." By saying things like that, we perpetuate the behavior.

I think women need to stop letting themselves be treated like objects. Act like the queens that we are. Stay away from anyone, male or female, who is does not show us the respect we deserve.

The only good lists like this can do is show us how to protect and respect ourselves.

A~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to:
Fri, 08-27-2004 - 5:38pm
I agree with you. I've been dating since the early 70s and for many years when a guy said he'd call, that's what he meant and that's what he did. I never once encountered a man who used "I'll call" for "Goodbye" and I dated a lot then. I don't date nearly as much now, yet I've encountered this several times in the last few years. It's not just how men are or it would have always been this way. It's this way, in part, because we tolerate it.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to:
Fri, 08-27-2004 - 6:13pm
Wow. I had a COMPLETELY different experience than you did dating in the 70s and 80s. When I was in NYC in the early 80s, "I'll call" was considered to be one of the biggest lies right up there with "the check's in the mail". Maybe it was an East Coast thing ;-)????

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to:
Fri, 08-27-2004 - 6:44pm
Wow - that's interesting Sheri. Maybe it was a coastal thing, and maybe I was just lucky to only encounter guys who called. It just goes to show how we come to conclusions based on personal experience.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
In reply to:
Fri, 08-27-2004 - 8:39pm
I dated in the early 80's and late 70;s and I agree with Shari,

I'll call you was the biggest lie out there.

If someone who said they would call and did then you were shocked.

Actually I think guys are more honest now then they were then.

Also women are much more independent and ask men out if they are interested.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
In reply to:
Fri, 08-27-2004 - 8:43pm
That list made men sound stupid not women.

A man who can't tell the truth when he is 20 or 20 or 40 or 50 that is pathetic.

Women are much stronger and independent now.

If a guy says he is interested get his no. and tell him you will call him


Edited 8/27/2004 9:53 pm ET ET by calliesam2004