He says no to sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
He says no to sex?
4
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 10:54am
I have been dating this really great guy for a little over a month now. We both work two jobs, so we usually meet up at night. He is sometimes selfish in the fact that he'll hang out with his friends and then call me. Which bothers me, but he is working on it. I get the feeling that he really likes me, but I am so nervous about losing him. I have started to wonder if maybe our relationship is just based on sex. So last night I asked him.

Now he is somewhat of a religous guy, and I LOVE that about him. He doesn't follow his religion like he should and we have talked about that. He said when he decides to commit himself to God, that it will change EVERYTHING about his life.

Well last night I asked the question. He said of course not. He really liked being with me and that he has made a decision that he wants to try and wait until he is married to start having sex again. He held me close all night without even a sexual touch. Well I really like this guy, so I am going to support any decision he makes, but I am kind of hurt by it. Now I keep wondering, maybe he is pushing me away. As I was getting ready to leave his place this morning he grabbed me and held me close. He smiled and said he would call me tonight. When I think of the way he looked at me before I left, it makes me feel good. And it makes me feel like I can trust in him. Has any else ever had this happen?

If I have offended anyone with religous references I am sorry, I just wanted you to get the full story.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 12:00pm
Well in my opinion, you cant make it about you...you know?
Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2004
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 1:00pm
Sounds like hes a really sweet guy. I think he really likes you. I think only time will tell. Maybe he was just hurt in the past and is afraid to give his heart away right now. You have to show him he can trust you and that you like him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 2:13pm

Yes, I once dated an minister!

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 2:48pm
Thank you everyone for your advice. You really put me at ease. I love the idea of not having sex, even though we already have, it's okay to wait now. My friends are thinking this guy is a real weirdo. They think maybe he is gay or has another girlfriend. Well, if he's gay, what a waste and if he has girlfriend then I don't think he would still have me come around. I was starting to wonder if maybe by saying he didn't want to have sex anymore he was trying to brush me off. But last night he called and I slept at his house and we just cuddled all night, it was really nice. He also wants to introduce me to his PARENTS! I am looking forward to it, but it just makes it feel like it is getting a little more serious. This guy is so different from any other guy I know. But he is so wonderful. I just hope this is going to last for a while. Thank you all for your advice!!