I think I'm gonna get hurt........!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
I think I'm gonna get hurt........!
3
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 1:19pm
Ok.....so I wrote a little bit ago about the text messages from gym-girl being sent to my boyfriends phone. I really appreciate all your responses and thank you all for your perspectives! It's a relief that I'm not completely overstepping my boundries.

Now it's something different.....he's hosting a BBQ at his house tomorrow night and didn't invite me! He's invited two of his guy frends, his brother and his wife, and my boyfriend's 7 yr old son will be there. At first I overheard him making plans w/ his brother on the phone, but I didn't want to be nosey, so I didn't ask about it. He told me about it the next day but he didn't tell me why he didn't invite me. He just got a divorce this year and his main priority is the well being of his son. We've had discussions on how to integrate me into their lives and I've noticed he's been funny about it. Like when I've called him on the phone and his son asks who he's talking to, he doesn't say anything (teaching him that I'm a secret, no?). Perhaps I'm jumping to conclusions here, I don't have children so I don't know how much "protection" they need from "me"...the outsider. My boyfriend and I talk all the time about spending our lives together - we are working towards that goal, but there's no hurry, right? I mean he just got divorced this year. I've been with him for several months now. I'm concerned that he's not ready for me to be fully integrated into his life. Maybe he's concerned about me being near his friends and family. Next weekend I am flying him home to meet the other half of my family. Meanwhile.....I've only met his son and one of his brothers and his wife....all of his family lives in the same town. Hate to admit this, but I not sure he's ready for me. Of course, I may be overreacting. How the heck to I approach this conversation? Something inside me is saying, "I should've known better......"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2004
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 1:27pm
whoa...... at first i thought it was gonna be a surprise party for you but i guess not. maybe hes still healing and wants to be able to talk to with his relatives. im sure everything will be fine and maybe the night after the bbq you guys could go do something special just the two of you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 2:47pm

I had to re-read your post.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 2:52pm
Yeah...this is not good. I would be up front with him...let him know that you are hurt not to be included and ask him why.

I also agree with one of the other posters...it doesn't sound like he really considers himself to be your boyfriend. What are you basing that on?

Sheri