Help!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2004
Help!!!
2
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 9:55pm
I really need your opinion. I have been dating a 39 yrs old single guy for more than a year. We ran into argument yesterday over the phone. Basically it was about the night before. He was late and I told him he was late in joking way. I was going to say I bought the food for us if I knew he would be late. However, before I say anything, he got really angry and walked away. I didn’t explain to him, I thought it was not good timing. It was quite and nothing happened and we went to work during the day. Until, right after work we were talking about the weekend beach trip. The talk ran into the issue the day before. He was still very angry and yelling. I was claim at the beginning, but he won’t let me talk and he yellow over my voice. I got mad and yelled back. He said he finished his talking and won’t let me talk. Then of course, he said to take a break and I said to break up; and I hanged up the phone. I feel very frustrated, but I think I shouldn’t point out when he was late and shouldn’t yell back to him. In the mean time, I wonder why he has this attitute when he is angry? What should I do now? He didn’t call and email. What should I do to talk to him? Should I working on this? We were planning to beach tomorrow. He supposed to pick me up. I don't where he stands for. Should I call him up? If I don't go on the trip or he doesn't pick me up tomorrow, what's going to be?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: april456
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 10:26pm
Would you answer some questions before I give you my thoughts? Is he often late? How late was he this time? When the issue came up again the next day, what set him off? What was he yelling about? What were his words? Does he usually yell and become very angry over minor issues?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
In reply to: april456
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 10:58pm
I would make other plans. If he comes around and you are not there, that's too bad for him. I would not make myself available.

If he does come around, and you do choose to make yourself available to him, I suggest telling him that you will not tolerate that kind of behavior from him. First of all, he's 39 years old, not 16. Second, you deserve nothing more than to be treated with respect. It does not matter that you said anything about him being late. If he was annoyed, which he had a right to be, he could have calmly said so and listened to what you had to say.

There are better ways to deal with conflict than yelling and not allowing others to have their say. You are right, yelling is not necessary, for either of you. You should not have to walk on eggshells either.

I know it will hurt if you don't hear from him again. If that is the case, try to consider that a blessing.

A~