When he'll call after sex on 1st date?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
When he'll call after sex on 1st date?
6
Sat, 08-28-2004 - 11:34pm
Hi there,

Ok, so I met a guy at a bar last weekend and he left messages saying he was interested in me. He called me throughout the week and asked to get together on Thursday evening, which we did. I am very attracted to him but find him kind of spacey and doubt we're suited to each other long-term, but obviously I'm not entirely sure because I haven't had the chance to get to really know him. We spent the night together (didn't have sex until the next morning) because we both felt great together and I really didn't care about the dating 'rules', we even mentioned it to each other as we lay there and said it didn't matter as long as it just 'felt right'.

If he is indeed interested in me, how long after is he likely to call me? I haven't heard from him yet since he left my place on Fri morning... just wondering how long to expect to wait or forget him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Sun, 08-29-2004 - 9:23am
You should expect to hear from within a week, or move on.

But since you slept with him already, he might not call. If he calls after a week or so, he's not interested in you, he's interested in the sex.

I'm not being judgemental, honestly. I slept around quite a bit in my 20s, but never really expected them to call me for another date. Now that I'm 42, with an ex-husband and a lot more relationships under my belt, I understand that not sleeping with a man on the first date is not one of those goofy "dating" rules -- it's a "human" rule.

If you're just interested in the sex, it's okay on the first date. If you really like him, wait to have sex.

Keep us posted, okay -- I've been known to have been wrong before!!! :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Sun, 08-29-2004 - 12:45pm
I agree with previous post. If he is interested in you ( which, how could he be when he doesn't know you ), he'll call you because he'll have your emotions, needs, etc. in mind. He'll want to call you. If he doesn't, or its after a time period (week- good rule), he is only interested in sex. If you are not only interested in sex, then forget about him and move on.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-29-2004 - 7:07pm
I'm not sure I agree that calling right away would be an indication he's interested in anything more than sex. A better indication would be what he asks her to do if/when he calls. If he asks her out on a real date, then he may be interested in more. If he asks her to come over, asks to come over to her place, or wants to hang out at a bar, then he's probably just interested in sex.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Sun, 08-29-2004 - 7:58pm
Hon, you were a one night stand, so if he calls it'll probably will be to have more sex. Move on if you want something more than sex with this guy. If you don't then meet for more of the same.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Tue, 08-31-2004 - 11:50am
Well I decided to call him on Sunday afternoon - I was bored, it was raining and I figured what did I have to lose... got his voice mail on his cell phone and just left an upbeat messaging saying I was calling to see how his weekend went and if he got rained out (he was due to volunteer at a soccer tournament).

It's now Tuesday and I have not heard from him.... obviously I'm disappointed but not much I can do. I suppose he could still call this evening but I'm starting to think he's rude or into playing games that I really don't have the time or patience for.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Tue, 08-31-2004 - 7:09pm
You know, I am one who checks their messages and phones people back right away. But I do have friends who wait before calling back- for whatever reason. My advice to you is wait for him to call you, you have left him a message and now it's his turn to call. If he doesn't call you back, then you have the answer. If he doesn't call for a few days, don't even bring it up why he took so long to get back to you- that could just be his natural time line.

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