had a date saturday night

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
had a date saturday night
5
Mon, 08-30-2004 - 1:19pm
well i went out with that guy i met at the party a week before this past saturday. We seemed to have a good time, but of course i received mix signals and i have no clue as to whether i will ever hear from him again...

He picked me up at 7:30, then we went out to eat. I guess it was a little awkward right at the beginning of dinner, but the conversation seemed to flow pretty smoothly...i was a bit nervous though. Dinner was nice, then we ended up going to a bar closeby after. we stayed there for a while, i only had 2 drinks, so did he and again we talked a lot. He asked me if i wanted to go to this bar near where he lives which is famous for being in a certain movie and i'd never been there before so i said sure. When we left the first bar i noticed that he held my hand a few times which i thought was cute. He is kind of quiet, and is personality is somewhat quirky i guess, he can be kind of sarcastic.

So we go to that bar, had one drink, then left. we were within walking distance from his place and he asked me if i wanted to come up for a 'nightcap.' I know you are all thinking that I should have just ended the night right there and had him drive me home, but the night was young and so am i, so into his place i went. His place was really nice, but i didnt say much about it. We sat on the couch and of course started making out-i had already made out with him the week before at the party so it only seemed natural to do it again. He is a really good kisser.

He tried to do more, and not to be gross but i had my period so i said no. He then asked if i wanted to just to bed. I asked if he thought less of me if i stayed over and he just laughed and was like, why would you think that? So we just ended up making out, then passed out basically. He woke up early the next morning and we just cuddled for a while...then we started hooking up again. Then he started making comments about me not touching his dick to the point where i honestly felt like a prude. I ended up giving him a hand job...

As we were going to sleep last nigth, we made some bet, i dont remember what it was but he was like, you lost that means you have to take me out to dinner on our next date. THen he said somethign else like, well if i call you again, which i most likely will...he said that twice.

so he drove me home at around 11 or noon. The conversation on the way home went well, i thanked him for dinner and the drinks, he was like, i hope you enjoyed yourself, i said i did...then when we got to my place we kissed goodbye and he was like, well enjoy the rest of your day and the rest of your week....I dont get guys....i jsut dont. He said nothing like, well i will give you a call or do you want to go out again. Maybe he doesnt want to go out again is what i am thinking. but i thought we had a good time...then i'm thinking maybe he feels he didnt get enough action and doesnt want to bother with me again.

I told a mutual friend of ours what happened and she was like, oh i'm sure he'll call...but i dont know. I mean he said the night before that he'd call and was saying all that stuff about me having to take him out next, then throughout the night he made one or two comments about getting a second date. But to me, when you drop someone off that is key...he said nothing about calling me or going out again. what do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Mon, 08-30-2004 - 2:27pm
Sounds like a creep. Sorry, I'm sure you like the guy, but really... any guy who makes comments like "about me not touching his dick to the point where i honestly felt like a prude" so that you "ended up giving him a hand job... " is childish. You need to be a little more careful about putting yourself in those types of situations, and I only say that so that you don't fall into that pressure so easily next time. If you hadn't have had your period, would you have slept with him? Or would you have allowed him to pressure you with comments until you gave in?

Think about it.

It's your body and you have a right to say no.

Alison

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2003
Mon, 08-30-2004 - 3:29pm
Personally I wouldn't be attracted to such a crude, insensitive and selfish guy. But that's just me. Only time will tell if he's going to call you or not. He talked about a next date, so I'm not really sure why you're worrying so much. My advice is find someone a bit more mature and tactful, but if you really think this is the type of guy for you, then good luck. A tip: try to have a daytime outing that doesn't include alcohol and see how things go.


Edited 8/30/2004 4:55 pm ET ET by secretiger
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Mon, 08-30-2004 - 4:52pm
Can you say "manipulation?"

I know this may sound harsh... I hope he does *not* call you. If he does, and you choose to see him, expect more of the same. Consider yourself spared from the throes of agony if you don't hear from him again.

Respect yourself.

A~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Mon, 08-30-2004 - 10:37pm
Hey, hang in there. You did what you wanted to at the time, so don't beat yourself up about it. If a guy doesn't respect you for the limits you placed that evening, which you clearly indicated to him - it's true, he isn't a mature guy. There are a lot of slime balls out there, I've experienced very similar situations many times myself. I always beat myself up about them afterwards but there's nothing I can do - everyone wants to have a little fun every now and then and it's nice to be with someone. He wasn't a complete jerk because he didn't really push to take advantage of you when you weren't ready for it, but he doesn't have your best interests in mind. I know how you feel - you're attracted to him and you want to get to know him but it sounds like he just sees the opportunity for sex and it may be true that he didn't get it 'easy' with you so he won't bother to try a 2nd time. It sucks, I know, but these guys are scum. What else can I say but I feel your pain!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Tue, 08-31-2004 - 9:26am
yeah i dont quite to know what to make of the situation. I dont know if he was just suprised that i wasnt doing much to him...maybe he is used to fast women, i dont know. I mean he seemed into me during the date, like i said the conversation was good. I dont know if his intentions were just to hook up the whole time or what though. I agree that he shouldnt have been making comments about the things i wasnt doing...then i gues i was stupid to go ahead and do them. I will be kind of suprised if he doesnt call to be honest. I menn we did seem to have a good time, but who knows...