Gave my house key to my b/f for emergenc

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Gave my house key to my b/f for emergenc
2
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 2:39pm
My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly a year. Since we began dating, we have been inseparable. While shopping with him, I decided I should have a spare key made to my house. He suggested that I let him hold it because he's always there anyway. That way, if I ever got locked out, he could open the door for me. When I gave him the key, I specifically said, "this key is only in case of an emergency, I don't want for you to come in and out of my house using it. So please keep using the doorbell." Well, of course that didn't happen. I'm more bothered by it because I have a 10 year old daughter. How do I explain toher that he has our key. I have been feeling very uneasy at home lately, expecially at night. I feel like he's going to walk in at any time and I hate that feeling because this is my house. I should feel comfortable in my own house. At the same time, this is the man that I love, why should I feel uncomfortable with him coming to my house if this is the man that I ultimately want to marry.

This morning, I couldn't find my car keys. I looked high and low and couldn't find them, so I went to look for my spare car keys. They were no where to be found. I finally found my regular keys after searching for 30 minutes and being late for work. I called my b/f and he called back and left a message saying "oh sorry, I have your car keys at home". !!!!!!!!

Is it just me or there something wrong here?! the problem is,....how do I get my keys back without making him feel like I don't trust him with my keys?!

Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 3:19pm
dianacadena1...

You look your b/f squarely in the eyes and say: "I'D LIKE THE KEYS TO MY CAR AND MY HOUSE BACK RIGHT NOW!" No explanations are necesssary because the keys belong to YOU!

If he can't produce them....give him 30 minutes....then "produce" a cop who will ask for them on your behalf.

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 3:46pm
If you're not comfortable with him having the keys, ask for them back. When you gave him the house key, you had asked him to keep using the door bell, but as he has not, there is a good reason right there for it back. As for the car keys, unless you GAVE him your spare set, there is NO reason for him to have them!! Just the fact that you were late for work this morning because you couldn't find them is frustrating enough, but then to find out that the reason you couldn't find them was because he had them!

These are little things that you do need to work out with him, especially since you say you may marry this man. Just be honest with him that even though he may not see it as a big deal, you do. That you want all your keys back. And until you two commit to living together or getting married and moving in together, you would feel more comfortable if he didn't have a key. Also the fact that you don't want your daughter to get the wrong idea if this guy has your keys.

So just call him up and say, "I have thought about it, and I'm not yet comfortable with you having keys to my house. I would like them all back. "

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