How do I tell where we're heading to?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2004
How do I tell where we're heading to?
3
Thu, 09-02-2004 - 3:17am
How do I tell where we're heading to?

Me and my best friend have been hanging out a lot lately. We crack each other up and we've gone to a deeper meaningful friendship. No doubt I have a crush on him and he knows it but we kinda dismissed that idea already. But lately, hanging out with him lately, his actions are giving me some signals. I won't call it wrong or right but just different...

On one occasion, I actually felt he was jealous! I was in a cd shop one day and he went to buy some things, this sales guy was trying to get me to buy this cd he recommended and started to joke with me and chat up with me but I knew it was just PR skills. My best friend came in which I didnt noticed, walked around I could feel his stare at me and then walked up between me and the sales guy and started asking the sales guy some questions about some artistes. He then placed his hand around my shoulder and said "sweetheart, shall we buy this?" in front of the sales guy. I don't think I was being sensitive but it wasnt like my best friend to do this kinda stuff. Then he dragged me outta the shop by saying he's gotta run for work.

This wasn't the first time, it's the second time he's done it. Almost the same scenario the last time which was quite recent as well.

Sometimes, we act as though we're this couple who is in love and having alot of fun and the whole world will be staring at us, smiling. And yet sometimes, it feels as though we're just really good friends and enjoy each other's company. And sometimes, we keep that gap between us wide. Its confusing me... As much as I love him and would like to know what's going on, but I'm just afraid that if we were to have that "talk", it may change our friendship.

And I also know that we cant have a relationship for now as he's going back to his origin country soon. Which is why he's single now and does not want a relationship with anyone...period.

He's been wonderful to me and has always try to be there for me when I needed him. And I know for sure he'll say the same about me.

But how do I go about in doing this?

Need your two cents worth!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Thu, 09-02-2004 - 4:46am
Hi there,

Not so long ago, i had found myself in the exact situation as you.

I know that it's not a very comfortable position to be in and its not fair.

My advice to you, from a personal perspective is:

For your sake and the sake of the friendship, you talk about it.

There's no point in you sitting and wondering on your own what will happen when you do talk about it. You not doing yourself or the friendship any good. The longer you keep it with you, the longer its going to stress you and will put a strain on the friendship.

You need to let each other know what you are thinking so the other knows where they stand with the other. In that way, you won't need to tip-toe around each other.

Once you get through this, you'll see that you'll be able to talk about anything and everything.

Good luck and take care.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Thu, 09-02-2004 - 8:50am
Well you can talk about it but if a relationship isnt a possibility, why is he acting like this around you?
Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2004
Thu, 09-02-2004 - 11:43am
Why is he acting like that? My guess would be he was jealous and he was just being selfish like any of us would do but without knowing it? I don't know about this. But it wasn't like him to do these kinda things...

At times, when we meet up, he'll ask me questions like what I've been doing or what's the updates. And if I don't reply much, his normal next question would be 'have I met anyone nice?'. He just started on doing this recently. And I also noted that he's been using the word "us" and "we" a lot lately. We even have "our" song! And he'll speak of the times we spent together, example:' we used to stay in that hotel before' or 'we did this crazy thing together' or 'didn't we have this deep chats before?' etc etc etc...noticed the word "we" ???

I know there could be a possibility for a relationship if we allow it. But with him moving away soon, it'll break my heart for he's not just a best friend but a lover as well...

We've been spending a lot of time together... and at times, I know I should try to stay away so that it wouldn't hurt as much when he leaves, but I can't stay away from him.

I feel like I am driving myself mad. Not that it is a distraction for me during my daily life. But when I get that quiet moment to myself, my thoughts goes to him...

How do I get out of this without having to stay away from him? I totally glow with this man around.