how do you know when it's "something"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
how do you know when it's "something"?
4
Thu, 09-02-2004 - 9:46am
When I was in high school I dated this guy for a few months, long story short, he moved away and that was the end of it. Well now 10 years later he is back and I find myself involved with him again. I ran in to him in town and we talked over drinks for the entire night catching up and just hanging out. He gave me his number to call him and i did about 2 weeks later. We have gone out a few times and we talk everyday on the phone. He makes it a point to send me sweet messages telling me how beautiful and sweet I am. So you're thinking what is my prob right? I want to know if we are "exclusive". How do I approach this subject? we've gone out 4 times in two months yet talk for hour every night... is it too soon to mention being "exclusive". I care for this guy and would like to start a relationship, however, i dont know if he is on the same page. How do i approach the subject without seeming pushy or smothering, that's the last thing i want to come across as... any advice would be wonderful... thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Hmmm...thats a tough one.
Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
i just dont know what to say to him... that's the thing.. we are both incredibly busy, he's still active in the army, goes to school full-time and works full time... I also have a busy schedule being a full time single mom and working 60+ hours a week at 2 jobs. I'm afraid if i bring up the subject I'll scare him away if it's too soon for him... IDK
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-02-2004 - 10:08am
I'm curious, why do you go out so infrequently? If he has time to talk to you for an hour every night, why can't he MEET you and take you out instead? That seems odd to me.

Exclusivity is something that cannot be assumed...it needs to be discussed and agreed to. So, if he hasn't brought it up, I would assume that he is dating other people and that you are free to do the same. If it's important to you that you are exclusive, then you're going to have to bring it up. If the two of you are right for each other, you doing so will not seem "pushy" because he will want the same things and be on the same page.

I would also want to know what his relationship goals are in general to make sure the two of you are on the same page in that respect. It's too soon, of course, for him to know if he wants to marry YOU, but if marriage is one of your r'ship goals, then I'd want to know if he wants to get married.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Thu, 09-02-2004 - 11:42am
hi sheri

thanks a milliin for your advice, you nring things to perspecftive that i havent even taken into consideration... i think he and i need to chat face to face... you're totally right about alking on the ohone for an hour why cant he stop by in his way home from school at night... i am on the way! good points thanks!!