I don't understand me

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
I don't understand me
2
Fri, 09-03-2004 - 1:12pm
I don't get it. Any insights or advice would be greatly appreciated.

I pretty much know what I want, but then again I don't I'm very indecisive and this causes issues, problems etc... IT IS NOT GOOD!

EXAMPLE:

it's like this I meet a guy and I like him for who he is and then I know I'd like to go out w/ him be his gal whatever, but then I start to dislike him for all the reasons I began to like him in the first place.

It's confusing maybe and quite complicated - I'm just clueless as what to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-03-2004 - 3:10pm
hazel636...

Pianoguy thinks you're basically SCARED!

You seem to want a relationship...but as soon as you get to the point of having one, you screw up with a nasty comment...or you withdraw completely.

If this has been a common occurrence in all your relationships...how about getting some advice from a professional therapist? He or She might help you locate your problem and fix it?

Most of us who HONESTLY want to be with somebody don't want to "cool things down" the moment they start to get HOT!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Fri, 09-03-2004 - 5:13pm
It's totally normal, you like someone but then start trying to find their faults so you can take them off the pedestal. The *too good to be true* idea. You need to start looking at why you do it, and I think it's because you're scared and maybe not ready for a relationship. It's hard to let our guard down and allow someone to get close to us, so that may be why you're trying to sabotage things before they start. I know I used to do that, and I realized that I just wasn't ready for anything new since I still had a lot of anger over my ex. So once I gave myself time to heal and work through things, I was able to relax.

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