Probably answered my own question

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2004
Probably answered my own question
2
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 12:41am
About three months ago, I met this guy through my IM. At first I wasn't going to talk to him because of all the other weirdos that usually IM me. But we got to talking to each other a little. The more he and I talked, the more we both realized that we had a lot in common. I won't go into the details of what we talked about, but it was intense. We get to talking more, and it feels like we've know each other our whole lives. So we both agreed to meet each other, which we did, and both of us were blown away by the other (we had both seen each other's pics, but we were very...well,speechless upon seeing one another). The date went well, and we talked online and on the phone a few more times after that. Then, nothing. I haven't heard from him since last month. There are times when I IM, email or phone him (which is few and far between), I still don't hear from him, and maybe that is because he works full-time and goes to school, plus he is a full time father. He also told me that he did not want to force a relationship on a woman, because rhe last time he did, it was disastrous for him. I called him Thursday,and he was happy to hear from me but he was in a meeting and said he would call me back. I don't know if I have found the one I have been waiting for my whole life, but he is as close to it as I am probably going to get right now. I am afraid that my heart is giving me a false impression than my head is giving me. In other words, after having gone through one disappointing date after another and meeting men who, in my opinion, wasn't worth going out with, let alone talking to, It is refreshing to find someone who isn't the usual a$$h*!&s I meet. I don't even know if he is still as attracted to me now as he was when we first met in June, because we haven't talked since last month. Part of me (the head part) says I should write him off at this point, but the heart part of me says to call him one more time, just to see if he's serious about dating me or playing games with me. And right now, I am too old to play childish games.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 9:34am
missjones1973...

First...stop beating up on yourself! You have a GREAT PROFILE...lots of talents...and are probably a wonderful person to be with. Perhaps you're feeling a little insecure now that you're 30 years old and haven't met up with a long-term, permanent "Mr. Right?"

Unfortunately...the man you feel is perfect for you NOW...has a job, is going to school and is already a Father! There's lots of stuff on his plate. This doesn't mean that he has "no time left for you" (quoting the Guess Who tune here). But...any free time that he has is limited.

You...being temporary unemployed...(at least according to your profile)...have MORE TIME to devote to this relationship. So your scales (and his) are out of balance!

Why not try and "fill in the blanks" by doing some volunteer work? Joining people who have hobbies or interests you like? Or by enrolling in an extra-curricular class or two? I guess what I'm trying to say is...LET OTHERS GET TO KNOW YOU...AND SEE YOU UP CLOSE!

This is really the only way you can make an honest impression...and hopefully, develop a long-term friendship/relationship with someone special? Good Luck!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2004
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 11:01pm
I just read the JNTIY article...wow, I never thought of it like that. As we speak the guy I was talking about just came online, but it doesn't matter b/c I have close the book on men for now. i have had it with the lot of them. The truth hurts, but no one said it was going to be all sunshine and farts either. That is real sad that a lot of men cannot commit to at least two dates with a girl he is supposedly interested in, but we are supposed to feel sad and sorry for them when some women don't remain faithful to them. But ubtil my "one and only" (What a joke!!) comes along, I guess my fantasies will have to suffice. But frankly I don't know if I can hold on much longer.