What do you do when you life is screwed

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2003
What do you do when you life is screwed
11
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 2:51pm
It may be an off topic post but I found that here is the biggest traffic. Well, what do you do when you life is screwed in many ways? Like job wise, relationship wise......When you don't feel any power. You just sitting there and watching life passing by. You're jumping for one job to another just to make some income. You haven't been in relationship for so long. All your date seem to have interest in you for the first 3-4 dates that they disappear. All you can think is how miserable your life is. You stooped enjoying things you used to like. Next thing you see you drink every night just to relax and forget your pain. You feel so unhappy.......What would you do? I think I'm falling apart.......

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 3:01pm
You recognize that you need some counseling.
Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2003
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 3:04pm
I know it all depends on me. I don't know where to start. There is nothing in my life that makes me happy. I can't make myself happy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 3:06pm
OK...first step.
Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2003
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 3:13pm
No , I don't. And I can't afford therapist...too expensive and one visit wouldn't make any difference.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 3:21pm
There are services for low or no income people who need mental health services.....you need to look online or in the phone book under Public Health dept.

Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 5:17pm
What you need to do is sit down one afternoon with a journal and start writing. The first few pages, you vent all the stuff that has disappointed you- no matter how long ago it was. You need to get out the disappointments to see why you feel low. Once they are on paper, then you begin writing two things. What you can do to change each disappointment- even if they are wild fantasy ideas, make a solution for each. Then write down all the accomplishments in your life and all the things you are thankful for- again doesn't need to be the present.

Once you have those thoughts on paper, you can then start writing some goals down as to what you want to do now to improve your situation.

I know it's hard to be sad, and sometimes we just need to wallow in our misery a little. But don't forget that there are positive things out there and people who are worse off than us. Do whatever it takes to help yourself get out of that loop of sadness. Seek out friends to talk with, look in the phone book for counselling groups or free sessions. Just remember everyone feels low at some point in their lives, it's just what they do about it that makes us all unique. Personally I have found that getting my thoughts on to paper allows a certain release from them so I can move on.

Another thing that can help is to change your routine. Instead of going straight home, take a little more scenic route. Hang out in the library sometime, or a coffee shop. Doing something different will help alleviate the boredom. Look through the community centre listings to find out what programs they are offering. If a class looks interesting, sign yourself up and try it out. Yoga may be good for releasing tension. There's also art and cooking classes you could try.

I just really encourage you to keep trying to find your way back up. We are here for you if you need to talk.

((((HUGS))))

Alison

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 7:12pm
2 Thumbs Up and 5 gold stars for Alison's previous post! :)

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 7:20pm
I've been in that same situation and got some great advice from a good friend. She said that since I don't like my life and the situations in mine, do focus on heloping someone else out for a while. This might sound a little harsh, but right now all you are thinking about is how bad YOU are and how much YOUR life sucks. Start to focus on someone else. Like help out a local bum by giving him a doller bill. Or say hi to your neighbor, or bake them some cookies and leave them at the door anonamously. If you start to help someone else, you will feel better. I swear, I didn't believe it either. It was the hardest thing that I had to do was make someone else happy when I felt the way I did. But the fact that I saw them happy because of me, made my day a little better and before I knew it, I was having a good life again
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 8:06pm
Ah, honey how sad I feel for you. Apparently you have no support system. How many times have we not been aware of a gesture of love? A smile, a gesture, some kind thing that has been given for free without getting anything in return?

You might have clinical depression and if you do you need profession help. That is when you have nothing in your life to be unhappy about, but you still can't feel happy.

As far as not being able to keep a boyfriend, there could be many reasons. They may feel your unhappiness and do not want to continue being around you.

You need a good professional to help you understand why you feel the way you do and help you to have a look into your past and how it has effected your feelings. good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 8:15pm
Look in the telephone book, there you can find a place where they can treat you on a sliding scale, they go by how much money you earn.

There are church support groups. Maybe you should go to a church and the pastor could help you.

There are places you just have to find them. good luck

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