age difference too big??
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age difference too big??
| Thu, 09-09-2004 - 1:17pm |
Hey all! I'm 27 (look about 21), divorced and am kinda seeing a guy who just turned 23. Great guy. Seems like we have lots in common. We've been out 5 times and have talked on the phone everyday for the last 3 weeks. Last weekend I told him that I was divorced and it didn't seem to bother him. We have become pretty intimate the last few times we were together. I didn't want him to think that all I wanted was some young "veal" and just wanted sex. I said I wasn't ready to have sex and he said he was fine with that. Now though he isn't calling as much and hasn't asked to hang out again. He seems like such a nice guy but I'm thinking that maybe he just wants sex and doesn't want to get into a relationship. I told him strait up that I wasn't just looking to get laid. He said he was looking for something more. I'm thinking good, maybe this could work. I can't remember what guys are like when they are 23 and I wonder if my age and "baggage" and the fact I'm not putting out is an issue here.

Let me see if I have this right? You LOOK like 21, but are actually 27! .
Unfortunately...your question has 3 speculative answers...and it's impossible to tell if any of them are completely right or wrong in your case???
1. Some men are fascinated by divorced women. A previously married lady has 'been there and done that'...so sharing any intimate experiences is just "doin' what comes naturally?" Age usually doesn't matter. Your enthusiasm and willingness to "come together" with the man often is?
2. Some men will instantly "CANCEL OUT" a woman who is divorced. For a few...DIVORCE is synonymous with D-A-N-G-E-R! Wanna know why? If a man has a large bank account, house, an awesome vehicle, or an attic of "collectibles"---any or all of these are 'in jeopardy' unless there's a PRE-NUPTIAL AGREEMENT! Many of us...no matter HOW MUCH WE MAY LOVE YOU...don't want to risk the possibility of losing EVERYTHING ELSE! Is this materialistic? YOU BET! Is this an indication that a few of us put our possessions ahead of you? MAYBE! Does it mean they're more important to us than You are? NOT NECESSARILY!
Would we want to make a choice between one or the other? DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN---NO!!!!!
3. Some men don't care if they have S-E-X with an 'experienced' woman or an 'inexperienced' girl! But if the subject is brought up and we are denied...a few of us will move on to somebody else who will...err...'give us what we want?' And this is a clear indication that S-E-X was the only thing that mattered to begin with!
You know this already, but ALL of us say stuff "at first contact" to impress the person we (think we would) like to be with. The real test comes if we can accept all your conditions and restrictions...AND STILL HAVE A DESIRE...to contact you for a 2ND, 3RD or 4TH DATE!
Pianoguy
I hear you saying "I won't have sex without an emotional bond and shared values and priorities and some level of commitment to a potential future."
I hear him saying "I don't want to just get laid, I want someone to hang around with whenever I want to, and someone to enjoy conversations and events with whenever there is the chance."
the difference is - he's not wanting to alter his lifestyle or priorities in order to meet someone's needs or pursue "a future possibly".
And for him to be with you - he'd have to do that - at least from what I hear you saying.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com