My Boyfriend & Sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
My Boyfriend & Sex
1
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 10:36am
I have been dating a new guy for about 3 months now. He is, hands down, the best thing that has ever happened to me, for so many reasons - a truly great guy. He's about 5 years younger than me and had just turned 21 around the time we started dating. When we met, he was a virgin. We had sex very quickly once we started dating. It was not until one week afterwards that he told me that he had been a virgin. He had been in a couple previous long term relationships - his reason for waiting to have sex had been his strong religious faith. Now, three months later, he has expressed to me that he feels guilty, is very worried, and might want to stop. I absolutely respect his opinion and I would never want to lose him. I am very confused and upset by this however. Not upset as in angry way, but upset in that I feel in some way I made him do something he had no desire to do. I also am not sure how one goes backwards in a situation like this. I have been sexually active for about 5 years. This new relationship has definitely been the best sex I have had, not just physically but, more importantly, emotionally. I can't imagine just suddenly stopping, especially for what could be for years. Just wondering if anybody had any advice on how to go about doing this ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 11:57am
Dont feel like you made he do something he had no desire to do. Honey obviously if he had no desire to do it it wouldnt have happened, he would have been how would you say... out of service. :) I would respect that you have meet a man who has strong values but obviously his values are different then yours and I mean no harm in saying that just that you have been having sex for 5 yrs he has not. Do you also have a strong religious fatih? This difference in values may begin to show up in other places as well besides the bedroom. I would really consider this one you may end up holding a grudge against him for not having sex with you.

Good Luck