Confused about what he wants...Help
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Confused about what he wants...Help
| Sun, 09-12-2004 - 3:22pm |
Hi all!
I am very confused about this situation I am in and would appreciate some opinions/advice. So here's the story.
Jason and I have become friends through this guy I was seeing about a year ago. We go to the same school, took a class together and worked together at one point since then. So we got to know eachother and have flirted with eachother on numerous occassions. I had a crush on him for a little while and I know he was attracted to me but wasn't sure if he was interested more than phsically. We talked about it couple months back and he has told me he is attracted to me but also think I am nice and sweet and dateable. But at the time it was weird because I have just stopped seeing his friend and thought it wasn't a very good idea to try to pursue anything with him. So we dropped the issue.
Now, for the past month, him and I both have been living in the dorms for our school and working as part of the staff. He is on the senior staff and kind of my superior which we have talked about when we had the conversation mentioned above. At the time he has told me he can handle separating one from the other.
What happened next is that we hung out last weekend. I got pretty drunk and I know he was drunk, though not as much as I was. We ended up making out and then I got sick and he took care of me and I spent the night over at this room. He was extremely sweet and told me he has been waiting for this for a long time. He also asked if I would come back the next night. He told me when we first worked together and started getting to know eachother he thought I was beautiful and smart and had everything going for me but decided it'd be inappropriate to act on that because we worked together. However since that night I felt like he has been ignoring me.I was expecting that we would follow up on it and hang out but I approached him and I think let him know I would like to hang out. I got no input from him. So finally I ended up asking what was going on and he told me he was not expecting anything to happend but things did happen and that it's a tough situation because we work together. I asked him if he thinks we shouldn't have made out and he said no, that's not what he thinks. I asked him what he wants and he said he doesn't know what he wants, just that he doesn't want a relationship.
I am confused...He is the kind of guy who always talks about how he is a nice guy and that women don't go for nice guys and how he wants a nice sweet girl, he wants a girlfriend. I know that he is shy when it comes to women and not very confident. I feel that the way he has acted the night we hung out was consistent with that but I don't understand what happened afterwards. I don't believe he said all the nice things just because. He had no reason to lie to me, however I don't understand the way he acts. Is he scared or is he just interested in physically? I tend to think when someone says they don't know what they want, it means they don't have the guts to tell you they don't want you. Do you think I'm right?
Sorry this is a little long but I really would like some input.
Thanks,
Kelly
I am very confused about this situation I am in and would appreciate some opinions/advice. So here's the story.
Jason and I have become friends through this guy I was seeing about a year ago. We go to the same school, took a class together and worked together at one point since then. So we got to know eachother and have flirted with eachother on numerous occassions. I had a crush on him for a little while and I know he was attracted to me but wasn't sure if he was interested more than phsically. We talked about it couple months back and he has told me he is attracted to me but also think I am nice and sweet and dateable. But at the time it was weird because I have just stopped seeing his friend and thought it wasn't a very good idea to try to pursue anything with him. So we dropped the issue.
Now, for the past month, him and I both have been living in the dorms for our school and working as part of the staff. He is on the senior staff and kind of my superior which we have talked about when we had the conversation mentioned above. At the time he has told me he can handle separating one from the other.
What happened next is that we hung out last weekend. I got pretty drunk and I know he was drunk, though not as much as I was. We ended up making out and then I got sick and he took care of me and I spent the night over at this room. He was extremely sweet and told me he has been waiting for this for a long time. He also asked if I would come back the next night. He told me when we first worked together and started getting to know eachother he thought I was beautiful and smart and had everything going for me but decided it'd be inappropriate to act on that because we worked together. However since that night I felt like he has been ignoring me.I was expecting that we would follow up on it and hang out but I approached him and I think let him know I would like to hang out. I got no input from him. So finally I ended up asking what was going on and he told me he was not expecting anything to happend but things did happen and that it's a tough situation because we work together. I asked him if he thinks we shouldn't have made out and he said no, that's not what he thinks. I asked him what he wants and he said he doesn't know what he wants, just that he doesn't want a relationship.
I am confused...He is the kind of guy who always talks about how he is a nice guy and that women don't go for nice guys and how he wants a nice sweet girl, he wants a girlfriend. I know that he is shy when it comes to women and not very confident. I feel that the way he has acted the night we hung out was consistent with that but I don't understand what happened afterwards. I don't believe he said all the nice things just because. He had no reason to lie to me, however I don't understand the way he acts. Is he scared or is he just interested in physically? I tend to think when someone says they don't know what they want, it means they don't have the guts to tell you they don't want you. Do you think I'm right?
Sorry this is a little long but I really would like some input.
Thanks,
Kelly

I would also try to do more fun things - not just hang out and make out - you don't want to go too heavy with the sex thing until at least 3 months so you can see if this is going to work and to make sure he wants you as his girlfriend and will be exclusive.
Good luck!!