am I overreacting please help..

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
am I overreacting please help..
2
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 5:33am

Listen I need an honest unbiased answer. Yesterday I was talking to my BF about dinner and said that I would like to go to a hibiach rest. He is a very picky eater and wont try anything new. He said go with your sister or someone else if I wanted to go. I told him that I would like him to try it out with me just once but he said no so I left it alone. I was annoyed because I go places and eat foods he likes all the time and thought just once he would go some where I liked and try it out. He calls back and changes his mind a couple hours later and says that he will go now. I thinking cool we dont normally do that.

When we were on our way to the restaurant he says that he will go but will not eat anything from there. We get in the restaurant and sit down infront of one of those grills he orders a soda that is it. I thought he was kidding about not eating anything. I order my dinner and stuff. The chef comes out and does the cooking on one of those grills and if you have ever been to one of those restaurants you get to see him do different trickes while he is cooking, sort of like a show. He just sitts there and plays with his phone and we have absolutely no conversation between us. Dead silence. He doesnt even look up to see anything that is going on. A couple of people come in to the restaurant that he knows he looks up shakes there hands says hi and doesnt even bother to introduce me. I eat by myself him still playing with his phone. At the end I get the check give my card and when she comes back and hands it to me to sign he gets up(without saying anything) and walks out of the restaurant and waits in the lobby front. At this point I was angry and when we get home I tried to talk to him about it. I asked him what was his problem and he kepts saying stop trying to argue with me. Then I tried to tell him how I felt about how he acted and how it bothered me and he said stop yelling at me(didnt think I was yelling), I didnt do anything or say anything to you. I said you didnt even talk to me you just sat there like you were annoyed or embarrassed or something. He said you didnt talk to me. I am not your kid stop treating me like this then tells me to take him home. I know I sounded annoyed when I was talking to him even had an attitude but I was not yelling at least I thought I wasnt. I didnt curse or saying anything except how I felt. I call him later around 1130 before I went to bed since he didnt call me and he tells me again that I was yelling at him and that I already told him how I felt so why am I calling him. Then he says that I am ungratedful that he does things for me all the time like put my kid on the bus and clean up my house even when he doesnt want to. He said he did nothing wrong because he didnt say anything and I am just trying to argue with him. And that I was mad because he didnt eat that is what this is over. I didnt even go there with the I do this for you and you do that for me thing because I was tired and hurt and it doesnt go anywhere with him. And frankly I do things for him because I love him not so that I can through it in his face later. That was last night. No phone call back or this morning. Now my question is am I overreacting about being upset with how the nite laid out? If you were in my shoes would you find that to be normally or would you tolerate that? Just because he sat there and didnt say anything am I overreacting with how he treated me?




Edited 3/17/2006 6:40 am ET by crk21
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 7:06am

I can deal with nights not going right, but he seems to be very immature. How can you be in a relationship with a person who doesn't want to talk things out? If working through issues is something that is important to you, I don't think this is the guy for you.


Kerry


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 10:13am
I think he was being just plain rude. He wouldn't want you to treat him that way, I'm sure, plus he's bringing-up how you're "obligated" to him, picks-up your kids, etc. It just sounds to me that he's testing you to see how much he can get-away with. He withdraws from you to see if you'll come chasing after him and put-up with even more from him. I suspect this is just the beginning since he's laying all the blame on you, instead of acknowledging that he wasn't acting the best. I'm sorry, but this guy sounds like bad news to me. Unless he will level with you, I don't think it will be a very healthy, happy relationship for you. Best Wishes.