Found BF's Profile on Sex Site

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2006
Found BF's Profile on Sex Site
13
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 9:41pm
Ok so I found the guy I'm seeings profile on a sex website advertising for women to have sex with. He is looking for erotic email, erotic chat, phone chat, discreet relationship or 1 on 1 sex. We have only had oral sex after 5 months of seeing each other. Don't ask how I found it, it was a fluk. According to him we have a sexual commitment.....I am now convinced he is lying about that. Anyone have any advice for me?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 9:52pm

Ummm yeah... drop him like it's hot. I mean if he's said to you he wants sexual exclusivity and he's on a dating site, come on... he's looking for something more. And you know what? You deserve more.


Kerry

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 9:53pm

Yes...end it.

A guy who truly WANTS to be in a committed, monogamous relationship doesn't post an ad like that, period.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 6:42am

He maybe looking for some cyber fun, or he may be looking for something more. Like a threesome!! My ex husband would go on those (not that I always knew either, i stumbled across it) here he was hoping to find another person to have a threesome with us. Only he forgot to ask me if i would???? LOL NO THANKS!!!

Have you talked to him about it? I know its tough to confront something like this, but you need to know what he's doing. First off is hes looking to have one on one sex with someone else thats not fair to you, and if he does he may expose you to STD's. In this day and age thats nothing to toss to the wind and ignore. Its very important to have an honest partner about that issue.

How old are you both?? Im curious

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2006
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 10:13am
Confront him, you deserve an explanation, even if that maybe just seeing him writhe with embarrassment trying to explain how it is innocent or some other potential bs. Then leave him for your own piece of mind.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2006
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 2:16pm
I am 48 and he is 37
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 4:13pm
Well at any rate, I would confront him. Even if you plan to walk away, because you will always wonder why. May I ask a personal question?? Why is it that you and he only engage in oral sex?? That one I dont understand.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2006
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 10:52pm
I want to give you a big hug...
And then a good SLAP!
Wake up! This guy cheats on you, fakes that he has feelings for you, does the whole 'commitment' routine, and you want ADVICE?! You should already be kicking his butt and shoving him out the door! Tell you found out, you don't want an excuse or an exlpanation, and it's over. Don't even hear what his fake/crude side of the story is, just tell him he has no chance of ever finding true love, he's dishonest, and if every guy in the world was like him, no woman would be straight! (That line ALWAYS makes men shut up!)
Now! Go forth and throw him away! Because you can definitely do better!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 3:49am

I found out about my ex's porn addiction while I lived with him. Also found his profiles on dating sites during a time we were in counselling to sort things out (that I paid for!). I only found out about his sex site profile (looking for girls *and guys*) after I moved out.

Be glad you found out now and not later. Smile as you walk away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 7:58am
Yeah dump him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2006
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 11:00am

Hi discomilla,

I agree with you on most points. I want to comment on one -
"tell him he has no chance of ever finding true love, he's dishonest, and if every guy in the world was like him, no woman would be straight!" - why say something so evil to anyone. Yes, the guys is a jerk and he screwed up, and it is his loss, but for her to lower herself to his level by uttering those words is just that, lowering herself to his level.. in my humble opinion.

~tuna

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