What should I do?!?!?!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2006
What should I do?!?!?!?
5
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 6:29am
I found a matchbook at my boyfriends last night with a girls name and number on it. He says he doesn't remember who it is. He then sat me down and showed me his phone, his online phone bill and his email - sent/received. Trust is a huge issue for us, especially since he's never been faithful in any relationship - girlfriends, wife, fiance. What should I do? Have him call her in front of me? I call her? I'm going crazy wondering what's up. HELP!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2005
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 8:04am
Has he given you any reason in your relationship not to trust him. Sounds like he is trying to prove himself to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2006
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 8:16am
Well, while he was monogamous with me, I found out he was giving emotional support (via phone calls - day and night) to his ex. He hid this from me after I asked that he go NC with her. When I found out, he apologized, said he was still codependent on her and that he would go NC. That has sort of worked - she didn't take it well at all - he showed me her emails and told me about her calls. He still has stuff of hers at his apt. that he plans (???) to send to her this month. This has been going on for the past 8 months. It's a drain on me. Women are definitely his weakness - due to insecurity, which he is turning around and his charismatic personality, doesn't help that he's tall and good looking.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2005
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 9:06am

I think you have to ask yourself if he's worth being in a relationship with when you are never completely comfortable or trusting him. Do you think you will ever be able to trust him. If not, what's the point. You don't want to spend all your time checking his phone bills, etc. or always questioning everything. There are lots of nice, honest guys out there - that are also tall and good looking.

Killer

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2006
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 9:27am

Killer - You're awesome! Thank you so much for painting a clear picture for me. You're right, I have a decision to make.

Have a great weekend,
H2

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 9:47am

I have not read any of the other responses yet, but here is my opinion, for what it's worth.