"Courtship" rules?
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"Courtship" rules?
| Mon, 04-03-2006 - 3:31am |
I've been dating a guy now and again for about a month or so. He's always ridiculously busy and travels three days a week, so I don't get to see him very often (though he calls fairly often). We've been playing phone tag for the past couple days (neither of us are very big phone people and we both keep missing one another's calls) and I'm starting to get a little frustrated that I feel like I have no control over the situation (I'm really not a control freak, but I would like to feel as though I have SOME say in what happens in my love life), and we've been out five or six times, so I'm wondering if it would be "acceptable" in terms of typically letting a guy chase/court me (which sounds a bit old fashioned, but which I usually do) to invite him to my place for dinner...he's also dished out quite a bit of money and taken me out on really great/fun dates, so I'd love to return the favor (plus I just like treating people I like well). Any thoughts? I'm always so hyperconscious about being perceived as the needy/clingy girl, which I'm really, really not...

I would also agree it's a little soon to have him over to your place. Instead, why not find out his schedule for the next couple of weeks and get tickets to a play, concert or sporting event you know he'll enjoy?
Sheri
I don't think it is too soon to invite him over for dinner, but I agree that some men might take that as an invitation to have sex. Keep the communication open and you should have nothing to worry about. I've been dating someone for less than a month and I invited him for dinner on Sunday and now we are having dinner on Friday at his place. If is it something you would really like to share with him I think it is a great idea. But make sure you know what he is anticipating.
GOOD LUCK :)
<< so I'm wondering if it would be "acceptable" in terms of typically letting a guy chase/court me (which sounds a bit old fashioned, but which I usually do) to invite him to my place for dinner >>
Hmmm, I think it might be a little early to have him over to your place, too ... unless you're absolutely sure that he won't take it as invitation for something more.
Here's a suggested "compromise" ... not sure where you live, but ... since Spring is in the air ... if the weather is nice where you live ... fix up a picnic lunch and treat him to a day in the park ... it's thoughtful, it's something that you're doing for him ... but, it isn't as intimate as having him over to your place for dinner ... it eliminates the possiblity that he'll take your invitation as something more than "just dinner."
As for << I'm starting to get a little frustrated that I feel like I have no control over the situation (I'm really not a control freak, but I would like to feel as though I have SOME say in what happens in my love life), >>
Well, he doesn't have "control" over his work travels, either. So, it's not only out of your hands ... it's out of his. For you, it's something you can either accept or not ... it's part of the "package deal" of him. And yes, you do have more than SOME say in your love life ... you have all the say. By either accepting what you've chosen ... or not.
Good luck!!