Is this guy flirting or just being nice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2006
Is this guy flirting or just being nice?
1
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 1:01pm

Okay, so here's the story...My mom got her hair done by this guy, so she recommended that I go there. When I first met him and we shook hands, I literally could not catch my breath! For the 3 hours that I was there, he kept asking me personal questions, like what kind of music I like, what I like to do, etc. He even asked me if I was engaged or married, which I'm not. We were talking about college and he mentioned that he was "dating a girl" who was majoring in biology, so then I became confused, because I thought that he was flirting with me, but then he briefly mentioned this girl and then never brought her up again. We continued to talk about all kinds of things and discovered that we both have a lot in common. I told him that I love to fish, but never have anyone to go with. He then chimed in and said that he was wanting to go fishing that weekend at lake in the country and asked me if I had heard of it. But then he left it at that and didn't ask me to go with him! I thought that he left the question open for me to make the first move and offer to go, but I wasn't sure if I was reading him right, so I didn't say anything. He also asked me if I liked Chinese food, and said he was thinking about going to the chinese restaurant in town later that night. But again, that's all he said --he didn't ask me out or to go eat with him! He gave me his business card that has his cell # on it, but I didn't think much of it. I left the salon confused and not knowing what to do. I got a "vibe" from him that he was flirting, but then again, I also got some mixed messages (i.e. "dating a girl").

I told my mom what happened, and she said that she found out that he had just starting dating the girl he mentioned, and that they are not serious or anything like that. She also found out that he told her that he had been burned in the past (his last girlfriend cheated on him) so my mom thinks he may be a bit gun-shy. This new information got my hopes up enough for me to do something, so I sent him a "Thankyou" card -- in it I thanked him for doing my hair and I mentioned that if he ever decides to go fishing and wants some company, that I would love to go. I included my cell # and email address.

My problem is that I sent him the card a week ago, and I have heard nothing from him. How do I know if this guy was flirting with me, or was he just being friendly and making usual salon chit-chat? I thought he was flirting, but now since he hasn't contacted me, I'm beginnging to wonder if I read him wrong. Since it's been at least a week and he hasn't called or emailed me, should I just assume that he's not into me and move on? Or should I give him more time to contact me? I feel like the ball is in his court and that if he's interested, he'll get in touch with me. What should I do???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 10:16pm
I think you're right, the ball's in his court. You've shown your interest. I think all you can do is wait and see. From what you've written, I wouldn't know whether he had a romantic interest in you or not, but I wouldn't rule it out. I've tried the note thing before myself but it generally didn't work out. Guys tend to live in the moment a lot it seems. If you show-up at the right time, then he may want to date you. From your post, my guess is that you need to have a little more self-confidence to be taken seriously. He gave you some leads, but you didn't follow-thru. Guys don't like pushy women generally, but they do like give and take, I think. Writing a note after the fact would probably be a little concerning for some guys, i.e., anything that's out of the ordinary. Do you need to get your hair done again any time soon? I'm not suggesting it, but seeing him again and being a little more assertive if he seems open might be a good thing. Guys don't seem to know how to respond to notes much. In the past, they would just show-up around me, accidental like. Of course, if you're from a big place, that doesn't happen so easily. You kind of need to make it happen. Good luck.