New here....

Avatar for freckpp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
New here....
3
Fri, 04-07-2006 - 8:58pm

Hi everyone,
Just wanted to introduce myself. I used to frequent the ivillage message boards all of the time! Actually, I was a co-cl for the longest time of a few of them. It's such a great, supportive community here. I've missed that.

I'm going through a tough time right now as I've recently gotten out of a relationship (that I ended) just three weeks ago. Even though I know that what I did was for the right reasons, and is for the best, and it's me that really wanted it, it DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY EASIER!! Just wondering if anyone has been through a similar experience... being the "dumper" in a situation where you know it's finally for the best, that you've put all the effort in that you can, that it's gotten to be *too much work* to make it "work."

Some things I miss....
cuddling with him in bed
talking on our way to work
his text mesages
calling him about something silly
talking before bed
his smell
cuddling with him in bed
his arms around me
him wanting me
being comfortable with him
cuddling with him in bed
being able to take care of him
having a date
and cuddling with him in bed...

things i don't miss--
his yelling
his drinking
the way he got sometimes when he drank
calling me selfish
the unstable feeling i had about our relationship
my uncertainty of the future
constant bickering
working so hard to make it work
feeling like it wasn't getting much better even with all the work
wanting more
the constant anxious, nervous feeling in my stomache

i know i did the right thing..... and as time goes on, it seems to be getting a little easier....
sometimes though, it's just really hard. like in bed at night! just the idea of snuggling up with him and stuff. i know that what i miss are pretty much the superficial things and it was the important stuff that was lacking. it's just so hard. im just missing him right now a lot i guess....the past couple of days have been particularly tough.

anyway, if you've made it this far- thanks for listening to me vent! nice to meet you all...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
In reply to: freckpp
Fri, 04-07-2006 - 9:43pm

I was the one who ended my last relationship as well, and since I hadn't been happy for a while, I was actually happier once I ended it than I'd been before I ended it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
In reply to: freckpp
Sat, 04-08-2006 - 1:51pm

***HUGS***

I just wanted to let you know that I know what you are going through right now and to give you my support. Just because you end the relationship does not make it any easier! I ended a four year relationship several years ago because we had more problems than we could fix. We still loved each other but we just could not be together forever. It was extremely hard to cut someone out of my life that I had been so close to for so long.

My last relationship of 2 years ended abruptly and badly and I also ended that too because he was cheating on me and there was no way I was going to put up with a man treating me like that. This time I adopted a dog (a very large dog!) to fill the void in my life. It was the best thing I ever did because all my attention went to taking care of him and forming a bond with him. Plus he sleeps in the bed with me at night and that took care of the problem of me not being able to sleep because of an empty bed!

Avatar for freckpp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: freckpp
Sat, 04-08-2006 - 7:46pm
Thanks so much to both of your for your kind words of encouragement and support. It really means a lot to me. I know... just one day at a time, and with time, things WILL get easier. Thanks again for the thoughtful words and the warm welcome:)