Nervous
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Nervous
| Wed, 04-12-2006 - 2:18am |
Ok - so heres the rundown. I was in a two year relationship, first serious relationship I have ever had. We broke up about three months ago. My sister in law has set me up on a blind date. However, I have never ever been on a real date! I am only 19 and all my previous relationships were good friends that became boyfriends or just didnt require dating... it sounds pathetic. But I have no idea what to do. She set us up at a casual Mexican restaraunt. Its a weekday, which is even more casual I think. But I dont know what to do, what to wear, what to talk about!!! lol, im a mess with nervousness. I guess I am just looking for some advice...how these things work, what possible mishaps to avoid on a blind date. ANything to give me a little heads up. I know it may sound pathetic, but i never noticed how hard it was to meet men. haha. Thanks a lot for anything that you may have to offer

kunnarree...
Pianoguy suggests you pick out something casual and flattering to wear, use limited make-up, and JUST BE YOURSELF! Let the date happen without expectations of any kind.
PLEASE DON'T COMPARE any previous 'close encounters' with this one....because every new person you date should be taken at face value! If you find there's chemistry, you'll know it! If there's nothing....at least the meal was good!
Now R-E-L-A-X and have fun....okay???
Pianoguy
I don't know if you've already been on your blind date, but I hope I'm not too late.
I agree with Pianoguy on how you should dress yourself. Choose something that's flattering on you and not too revealing. Bottom line: don't try to get all "gussied up" or do anything to yourself that's new or unfamiliar for this date, because you want to be comfortable and confident.
As to what you DO on a date... first, you relax. There's no point in trying to plan out the date in advance because you don't know how this man or how he's going to behave. So just let things happen. The guy could turn out to be a total chatterbox, in which case you won't have to worry about how to keep the discussion going.
But it is often useful to have a couple of conversation-starters in your hip pocket...not just for dates but for whenever you're meeting new people. Here are some usual first date openers... "It's great to meet you!" "Did you find this restaurant ok?" That question could lead to a conversation about you both live. You can also ask him how his day was, which usually leads into a conversation about what he does for a living or what he's doing in college. If he doesn't volunteer that information right away, you might say just a little bit about YOUR day and what you did.
Just DON'T tell him you were nervous about the date!!! Your goal is to be UPBEAT and poised. In fact, stay away from talking about ANYTHING negative. That means you don't launch into a speech about your past boyfriends, or the fact that you've never been on a "real" date before this. I just don't think that's necessary for him to know, at this point.
If you find that you're really starting to dig this new guy, a little flirting never hurts! A great way to flirt is to throw out a couple of light compliments (EVERYBODY loves to be complimented!) Find some feature of his that you like and tell him. "You've got a nice laugh ("smile...eyes... hair"...etc.) Just say it casually and don't overdo it.
Now, for Who Pays....
Generally, the guy expects to pick up the tab for a first date. But follow his lead when the bill comes. If he reaches for the check and then his wallet, let him pay. If the check just sits there on the table a while, you can say: "Well, I guess it's time to divvy up the damage. What do we owe?" But personally, I would NOT be impressed with a guy who wanted me to pay for a first date... but that's because I'm quite a bit older than you and my dating customs are probably from another era. I usually offer to pay after about 3 dates, or if I was the one who invited HIM to go somewhere.
Well, obviously there are a hundred different scenarios I could write about, but the most useful advice I can give you is to be positive! Maintain eye contact, smile, try not to fidget and have fun! And don't try to learn everything or DO everything on this first night. In other words, I would'T go home with him or make out with him just yet. Leave something to look forward to! If you are both inclined, there's nothing wrong with a nice, goodnight kiss on your doorstep. If he's "into you" he'll try and arrange a second date before the evening is over. At the least, he'll call within the week and ask you out again.
But if the first date hasn't gone well, be courteous and pleasant, but don't feel it's necessary to draw the evening out. After dinner is over you can just say, "Thank you for the evening, so-and-so. It was great meeting you." Maybe give him a hug, and go home.
I agree with the other 2 posters.
I recently read that a perfect 'first date' outfit is nice jeans, a cami (not too low cut or shiney) and a blazer. And then boots or sandals.