Need Insight...about this guy I love :(
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| Thu, 04-13-2006 - 3:28pm |
Hi all,
I have come here to get some insight and advise...
I feel like crying all the time, about this guy I really like.
I met him online, and we met once. He lives in another state.
I have fallen in love with him. I know he likes me.
He is not brushing me off, but he isn't expressive at all. He is just really busy with work. It's me mostly who makes all the calls to him...or writes him "I miss you" cards, show him affection through words. am very expressive etc. I am starting to feel a bit resentful, coz he doesn't express back. But if I ASK him, if he misses me, he says YES.
If I ASK him for a kiss on the phone, he then goes ahead with it. But he rarely *initiates* anything. He does care about me for sure, and is a great listener, and supports me etc. Basically, he is a great friend, but I guess he is afraid to express anything else, I don't know why. I do know that he once said "I am not ready". For me, or for the responsibility, I don't know. He is 25. I am 29.
Can anyone see anything I am not able to see? Is there a way to have him miss me?
Should I reduce my contact with him (I call him a few times a day, everyday), and date other people (when I talk about another guy, I can feel he gets sad but he doesn't stop me from getting to know other guys). I feel time is ticking and I need to meet people. But this guy is in my HEART. And it's just hard to find guys one can fall in love with. What should I do? Wait for him patiently, until he sees I am really serious about him, or move on and just keep him as a friend?
Thanks.......

I think there's a 3rd choice, and that's what you should do...move on and NOT have any contact with him at least for the time being. You are in love with him...you can't just 'be friends' with someone you're in love with.
You can ask him to get in contact with you if and when he is "ready" but in the meantime, you either need to find a way to be satisfied with what you have, or move on.
Sheri
He lives in another state and you've met him once ... the overall question is, what do you want to happen here? True, I understand that falling in love with someone isn't always practical ... and you can't always control whom you have feelings for ... but, what do you want from this situation? YOu're in different states, have only met once, and he hasn't expressed any desire for a relationship ... he's said he's not ready. Therefore, IMO, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
Which is why, again IMO, it would be wise to move on. LDRs are difficult enough, but LDRs that are started long-distance, with no foundation in place of truly knowing the other person ... are nearly impossible for things to grow. So again, what is it that you want to happen here ... within this situation?