Something has changed..but what?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Something has changed..but what?
1
Sun, 04-16-2006 - 9:06am

My boyfriend and i have been dating for about 7 months on and off (now on) and just recently we told eachother some (past) secrets, like things that happened that are now things we regret, but somehow the subject came up and he said his happened just 3 months ago, when we were on our break and mine happened years ago, i was really hurt and mad at first because i felt betrayed that he never told me, but i am over it now. Well after that we were talking about moving in together, we had been planning it for months, he is graduating at the end of july and because we are both still pretty young i was apprehensive about moving out from my parents house but i felt almost obligated to because he is moving here, for me. Well as we got to talking it turns out he wasn't planning on moving in with me, not right away, he said it would be rushing. I got the idea we were from all the planning and talking about it we did but i guess he just wasn't clear enough. Well i was also hurt and mad about this because i felt led on but again i got over it because he cleared it up and made me realize it would be rushing after all since it is a big step. But i am willing to do it still, apprehensive and all, i do want to live with him and apart of me was hoping right away. Well after that stuff was said, during 2 days, things seemed to be ALOT different the next time i talked to him but i didn't say anything until things were very quiet, which they usually never are, and he agreed that things were infact different but we both didn't know what it was, but it felt bad different to me, to him he said it was "nutural" so we were trying to pin point what it was, we thought of all different possibilites and then he said, i think i know what it is..he said it was because we thought things would change and were supposed to change after what was said but nothing really had, so we were confused. He then said wow..that feels much better, that feeling is gone, however..mine stayed. I feel like he is different, i am a very observant person and i know when something is not right, but he says everything is ok. I can't shake this feeling though, i don't know what it is but i do know i want it to go away. I know he has been acting differently but if he says nothing is different for him, what am i supposed to do? and what about this bad feeling i kept, the one i don't know how to get rid of because i don't know where it came from?

C

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sun, 04-16-2006 - 8:00pm
With the history of on-off daing I wouldn't move in with him. It could be a sign that "it's not ok really". You do have that sensation in the pit of your stomach, right? Why risk it, move out from your parents to live with someone you don't really know. If you feel he's acting differently but telling you that "every is OK", that's a red flag. He's right in saying that it's a big step and you appear to have many doubts about this matter. If you're not 100% sure then don't do it. If he's moiving out there where you are it's his desicion and you don't have to feel guilty or obligued to move in with him. You two might be young, but can make rational desicions.