WILL HE TURN AROUND

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
WILL HE TURN AROUND
5
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 11:39am
I am 3 1/2 mths pregnant and my bf is less than thrilled w/the idea. My question, is do you think he will turn around?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 12:09pm

He could, but don't hold your breath!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 12:28pm
Is he financially well? If not, he could be scared to death and a lot of men are not good at communicating or admitting fear. So the fear factor will come out as anger or apathy. You need to find out where his angst is coming from.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 1:25pm

thanks guys, i've tried talking to him about his anxiety and so far the only thing that i've come up w/is him saying he wasn't expecting kids so soon. in fact, he even broke up w/me so he wouldn't have to deal w/the pregnancy at all. his friends have been very influential (all of whom have kids & none of them support their children) so maybe their opinion matters more to him than doing the right thing. TRAPPED lol if anyone was trapped it was certainly me. he could never say that i trapped him, upon finding out about the pregnancy i was the one saying that it was too soon and that i wasn't ready etc. my fam nor his are believers in abortion (but both said that they would support my decision no matter what), so after days of praying and a dream i decided to continue the pregnancy. i don't know... maybe he'll come around maybe he won't but whether he likes it or not the baby will be here 10/17/06.

as for the financial part, his mother made him quit his previous job and to come work at her school when she found out that i was pregnant, so i don't think money is an issue.

Edited 4/17/2006 1:35 pm ET by iejones63




Edited 4/17/2006 1:38 pm ET by iejones63
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 3:47pm
Well the saying goes, "you are the company you keep" and his friends sound like a bunch of dead-beat dads, so he may very well become a dead-beat dad. You are right in saying that "you are more trapped than he is". If he pulls that "trapped card" out, tell him it takes TWO to make a baby and since he seems to have one foot already out of the relationship, how trapped can he be? He is being very vague by saying he didn't expect kids so soon. He is obviously not very in touch with his feelings, fears or the expectations he has from life. His statement about not expecting kids so soon, gives me the impression that he is putting the responsibility totally on you. His not wanting to deal with your pregancy, speaks volumes! He really doesn't want any part of things adults have to deal with. If he decides to go awol in your time of need, don't let him get away without paying child support.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 12:15pm

You dont give many details about your relationship p- i.e.: how old the two of you are ,how long you've been together, how serious you are, what your relationship is like...


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