This is a new one for me

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2006
This is a new one for me
2
Fri, 04-28-2006 - 3:21am
Hi!
This isn't really a problem that I have, it's just something that I'm having trouble understanding. I've been dating a really great guy for the past two months. He's perfect in almost every way! We get along so well, we make each other laugh and have similar views and tastes, he treats me with respect and makes me feel beautiful and appreciated. So far, we're very very happy together. I now spend the night at his place a few times a week, and while he's very affectionate, he hasn't made any advances on me to take things to the next level physically. We make out like teenagers, then he just says "goodnight honey", and falls asleep. I've never been with a guy who doesn't try to get sex and I'm not quite sure how to handle it. I feel like I am ready to do more, but I'm not sure how to bring it up. I've made hints that I'd be willing to go further, but he hasn't acted on any of them. Maybe he has a reason for being so hands off? I know I should just ask him, but I just can't summon the courage, and wouldn't know how to phrase it. Has anyone else ever experienced this? Any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 04-28-2006 - 4:54am
My guess is that he doesn't want you to see him naked for some reason - scars, birthmark, acne, psoriasis, poor build, something like that. Either that or he's extremely nervous about having sex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2004
Fri, 04-28-2006 - 8:47am

Yes, when I was 16 went out with a guy that took 2 months to even just hold my hand. At 16 I would never have discussed it. Now if that happened, I would not discuss him but talk about relationships and intimacy in general with him. For example, "What is your opinion on sex before marriage?" could be a good door opener. Think about your questions beforehand, but try to keep your relationship out of it unless you feel comfortable going further and asking him, and what about us...

Cheryl