fighting constantly with my male friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2005
fighting constantly with my male friend
3
Sun, 12-17-2006 - 7:32pm
Can anyone shed some light on this situation?
I have a male friend, we met over a year ago through a dating service. We were both dating other people when we met, and decided to just be friends. Since then we have gotten together a few times (we live 45 minutes from each other and work full time) and talk a lot over the phone. However, since June of this year we have been arguing often about anything and everything. We stopped talking for a couple of months after one incident in which he called me a bunch of times in one day to go out. Then we connected again and decided to start to trust each other. We went out 6 weeks ago to the movies. I realized that I really like him more than a friend (got that tingly, oh my God feeling)...since that one night (we hugged a few times, and at the movies sat with our arms touching for the whole movie) we have not gotten together, as he has asked me to go out again, and for one reason or another, has cancelled. Then, last Friday, he said that he would call me on Saturday to go to a movie. He never called until Sunday at 4pm to apologize on my cell phone voicemail. I sent him an email telling him that it is not okay for him to do this to me, and that he needs to get clear about whether or not he wants to be friends. I haven't heard from him in a week, and I am very sad about this. What should I do? We argued a few weeks ago (after our night out) and he and I were upset b/c we couldn't understand why we can get along with everyone else but each other...we decided that we needed to work on trusting each other. Can anyone tell me what may be happening here? I miss him. Thanks. SMB
Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 10:18am

Why not just accept that the 2 of you don't get along and move on?

Also, I see no reason to trust him if he says he'll call and then doesn't.

What else to you argue about?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 11:40am

He's a flake...he's constantly cancelling on you, and doesn't call when he says he will. Is that *really* the type of man you want to be involved with, even as a friend?

His silence has clearly shown you that your friendship is not important enough to him for him to change his behavior. Move on, you'll be better off without this flake in your life.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2005
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 6:10pm

HI and thanks for the messages..

We banter about a lot of different things; I think it comes down to our past issues with the opposite sex playing out. He'll call me and we will playfully argue about anything.

I agree that he is a flake. He just doesn't know what he wants from me and from life. I have tried to be his friend and be good to him, and that is when he doesn't call until it is too late to meet.

I appreciate your responses, and sadly, I think they are true. Susan