I wish I could read his mind-sort of!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
I wish I could read his mind-sort of!
1
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 8:41pm

Alright lovelies... enlighten me, por favor!

So I have this guy I've been friends with for about four years. He just turned 21 and I'm 24. We have always been complete opposites; however, this friend has changed many of his poor behaviors since we first met. Almost anything that I expressed the slightest distaste in, he changed. For example, since becoming friends, he has quit smoking pot, smoking cigarettes, changed universities to get a better education, and has cut back on his drinking and now gets straight A's.

The other night on messenger he told me that he dated a gal for about a month and dumped her because she was too "controlling" and "tried to change him". To that I said, "But any behavior of yours that I've shown distaste in you've changed by choice." To that he said, "I need to grow up sometime. And you matter."

He also congratulated me on losing a lot of weight, saying I "looked great" in a recent picture. I was so flattered. :) When he found out I'll be back in our home state next week, he replied with, "I don't suppose you'll be visiting ______" (where he'll be at and where we met.) When I said yes, he asked my plans for New Years. I said so far I have none and he has none as well. Then he had to go and our conversation ended.

I love talking with him. We can even discuss weight issues or insecurities. No one makes me laugh like he does. :)

How the heck is a gal to konw when a guy is interested and shy or just flirty or wants you to take make a move? A million times (at least it feels like it!) in the past, I've had guy friend after guy friend say he's been interested but was too scared to ask me out, but wishes he had.

How do you know when to be assertive and when to just let things happen?

Gah! So many questions!

Thanks in advance for any insight!!!

Pink

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Thu, 12-21-2006 - 11:41am

Hi Pink and welcome!


It sounds like you have a great friendship with this guy that may develop into more. Honestly though, I believe in the 'if it's meant to happen, it will." Take your time with this and allow it to develop. Taking the step from friendship to a relationship can be dangerous (but well worth it too).


Since it sounds like you two are living away from each other, just spend some time while together and see where things go. If it's meant to be, I think it will.


I know it can drive you crazy though when you just want things to happen! Patience, my girl! :o)