The L word

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
The L word
3
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 1:34am

When do you feel sure about your Love feelings?
and is there an ideal time when you would say " I love you"? (in bed, on the couch, in the morning...)

My first BF told me he is in love with me few days after we started dating (But we were friends for couple of years before)
My last BF (now X) never told me he loves me! When I wanted to end the relation he begged me to stay.. and said that he couldnt say it to anyone!!

I had said it to another person only to realize few months later that I did not mean it!!

I dont want to rush into thinking I m in love with my current BF but I do have strong feelings for him. we have been only 4 months together.

I KNOW your answer will be: Say it when you feel like saying it but I m more asking : From your experience, how far into the relationship did you say I love you's? and did you ever regret saying it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
In reply to: juliara2003
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 2:14pm

My personal experience:

My current steady have only said "I love you" maybe a handful of times to each other and we've been together steadly now for two years (but we'd dated on and off for four total). He was the first to say it, and that was only after a year-and-a-half of steady commitment.

I suppose it's different for us - we're not physically demonstrative people. And neither one of us feels like we have to say it that often.

Actually I think we both said it to each other after an argument. :) That's when we realized that we really do love each other - that we can irritate the HELL out of one another but we still want to be together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: juliara2003
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 10:03am

It does vary obviously so there is no one right time to feel it or say it - but certainly the one who said it a few days after meeting was operating out of infatuation... I do kind of think though, old fashioned as it may sound, it's better to have the guy say it first


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: juliara2003
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 3:06pm
You ask a tough question, for which there is no "correct" answer. Everyone has a different definition, complete with assumptions and values, of love. Love to you may not be love to someone else. I think the key is to hopefully find love with someone who defines it the same way as you.