Update on "Feeling Petrified" - Plz Read
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| Thu, 12-28-2006 - 10:38am |
Hi all,
I wanted to thank and update you all on my situation, and I also am feeling bad about something having to do with this, so I wanted to ask your advice really quickly...
He called me at work after I posted that post yesterday. He attempted to talk to me about the texts that I received at 1am that previous morning. I was very nervous and a little scared and didnt know what he was going to say, plus I was uncomfortable discussing anything at work with my co-worker sitting directly behind me, so I cut him off and said "I dont want to talk to you" and I hung up the phone. He didnt try to call me back at work, however, when I got home and checked my voicemail on my cell I saw that there was a message from him saying (in a condescending voice) things along the lines of I had no right to accuse him of sending me those texts (even though they happen to be from his area code), and that I seem to like to accuse people of things and that I should seek help for that, and that I should know what usually happens next when someone gets accused, the other person will say they dont want to talk to them anymore, and that I am not a rational person, and that if it makes me feel "all big and better" to be the one to say I dont want to talk to him anymore, than fine, but he wasnt planning on speaking to me anymore once I accused me of sending me those texts, have a nice life sweetie"
Then I called my phone company and made it so that I cannot send or receive anymore texts. He did not call me last night or try to contact me, but I did check my email this morning (aol) and there was something from him that said "hi" in the subject header. I had sent him an ecard for something a few days ago, before all this happened, and at 3pm yesterday (after he had left me that voice message saying we would never be conversing again), he left me an email that said "thank you for the card, that was very sweet of you". I never got notification that it had been opened (the company sends notification). This is weird. All of it is weird. But here's where I need your opinions:
I'm wondering if it is possible that any of my behaviors could've caused him to not want to have anything to do with me. I mean all of that previous stuff with me sending him lots of texts and voicemails etc. What i'm saying is I hope this isnt all my fault. I feel like what if maybe he really was a nice guy and I ruined something? Or does he sound like a creep regardless? I mean, he did seem very mysterious. Plus the fact that him knowing what I was doing online etc before we even had this problem means he was tracking me before any of this happened, and that's wrong. Also, he did do a couple of very mean spirited things. I do believe that those text messages containing the rejection hotline thing were a mean joke from him and a friend, and he did one time send me a text accusing ME of being a stalker, then immediately leaving a VM on my work phone telling me to disregard it, that it was a joke. I dont know. What do you all think? How do you all perceive this guy?? I dont know anymore.

For what it's worth, I think you're placing way too much emphasis on this short stint of a relationship. Whying yourself to death isn't going to accomplish anything, really.
I'll admit, I'm probably not up on everything that happened in this situation. I went back to try to fill in some gaps, and admittedly I probably missed some info, but what I came up with from what I read is that you're simply a bit insecure with yourself. Did I come close?
The first thing I noticed from your old posts is the part about him not calling you when he came down with "food poisoning," yet he had been on his Myspace account. That's acceptable, I think. It's easier to log onto the computer than it is to talk to someone on the phone when you're throwing up every five minutes. :) That is, IF he was telling the truth. So let's assume he was - you text him eight or so times. That makes you look clingy. The start of the trouble. No one likes clingy. And, yeah, that probably made him think twice. And yeah, accusations accomplish nothing. I can tell you that from personal experience.
But, look at it this way - if he DID think twice, he wasn't the guy for you. The guy for you would have made it a point to either call you or email you or SOMETHING. Right? So just let this one go. You're not helping yourself by whying yourself to death over something that was never really there in the first place.
I see you are confused. This guy, from what you have posted lately seems like a creep. Why do you even care what he thinks? You may want to block his emails and phone number so that he cannot contact you. Usually, the best course of action with a hostile, volatile, abusive person is to just cut him off. No more ecards, etc. Once he understands that you don't get a rush from abusive treatment, hopefully he'll go away.
If you continue to engage with him in this ridiculous exchange he will see it as a green light to not let go. You cannot reason with this man, he has his own agenda, he makes accusations that are uncalled for an inaccurate, based on what you said, and he is treating you like a person he never dated. Scary if you ask me.