But he seemed so genuine....

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2006
But he seemed so genuine....
6
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 1:47am

Ok - here is the synopsis on the situation, I just want to know what your gut reaction is to the situation....
!. We met on Match.com; sent several novel length emails before he offered me his number; I called - we chatted, briefly, as he was out with friends.

2. He said he would call me the next day, which became two days later - the conversation lasted almost two hours. This was Sunday. He was leaving for a family reunion over Xmas break, departing Xmas Eve - which was the following Sunday. I asked if he wanted to meet before he left, his response was an "I'd love that." He was a bit under the weather, so he said he would call when he was better.

3. Three days passed so I shot him a text since I was still making plans with friends for the weekend - the text just asked if he was still interested in getting together, cause I was getting the vibe since I hadn't heard from him that he wasn't. He texted back that I was wrong and he called me that night, and we made plans for Friday.

4. Friday - it was an awesome date - we just clicked. We moved from drinks to playing pool for hours. As we both headed to our cars (it was about 1:30) he said he definitely wanted to see me again, and we proceeded into the goodnight kiss - which relocated to my car for a bit;-)
He asked if I wanted to go back to one of our places, and I said that I didn't want to have sex, it was too soon, and that if there was any chance of more between he and I, I didn't want to rush. We did, however, go back to my place, threw in a DVD, made out a little more, before falling asleep, and cuddled the whole night through our sleep. It was blissful, at least for me.

5. (Sat.) As he left in the morning, after a great deal more kissing, he said he would call that night - and then here is the rub - he didn't

6. Christmas day - I get a general Merry Christmas text - which could very well have been a mass text - I texted back the same.

7. I have heard nothing since - Do I have grounds to believe that I was misled considering he said he would call and didn't? He is still away from home, and won't be back until after New Years, should I pass judgment then when he is here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 7:55am

Wait until he gets back into town. He's away for the holidays visiting family I would assume. Then I wouldn't worry about it.

I get the same advice as I am dating someone new and I grow quite impatient waiting. But you have to remember it's the holidays and people are busy with their families at this time.




Edited 12/29/2006 8:07 am ET by lovinhockey17

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 8:09am

It's not so much that he's away for the holidays as he's not keeping his word and calling when he says he will. Personally I believe that if a person can't keep their word on small things that they will not do it on larger things.


To me, it doesn't sound like he's all that interested and it sounds like he's looking for a hookup. But, that's just me... :o)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 8:31am
It seems like you are doing all the calling, the texting and the pursuing. If this man is interested give him the opportunity to show it. Step back and see what happens.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 12:04pm

It sounds like he has not done what he said he would do, not just once but a couple times now. So I would do nothing, because I wouldn't want to be with a guy who didn't keep his word. If he can't even keep it about small things like calling, how on earth could you trust him to keep it about bigger things?

It also sounds like he was hoping for sex and when he didn't get it, he decided to move on. He may call you when he gets back, hoping that he's done enough ground work that you'll sleep with him this time, but unless you're just looking for a fun fling, I'd let Mr. Unreliable go to voicemail if he does call.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 4:31pm

If the guy is interested in Sex only you will hear from him again for sure since sleeping over on the first date is really a good sign that sex is coming up next:~)

If he is interested in more he will call too. Step back and let him show some interest.
Keep your guard up and dont offer sleepover's anymore. Making out is fine but go out and do the dating stuff with him. Also try to keep busy with other things and dont contact him everyday (disappear for few days just to make him wonder) always return his calls though but late... let this guy feel that you are not thinking of him all the time and that you have interests that keep you busy...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2006
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 7:52pm
Thank you - I don't know why it took me reading your response to accept the truth about this....but you're right - - thank you for taking the time to respond and your honesty.