bad in bed
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bad in bed
| Mon, 01-01-2007 - 3:11pm |
i really need your help.I started seeing this man I work with. He is a sweet heart he really is but his is really bad in bed. We had sex 3 times last night and he will last 3 min the most. I dumped him because of this. it been going on now for 3 weeks so its not because its been a while for him. I know sex is not everything but its something I really like and want more. do you think I did the right thing. I didnt tell him why i broke up with him I would never hurt his feelings that way.

IMHO, you did the right thing. He didn't satisfy you sexually so you moved on. A man could be wonderful and a good guy, but if sex is something that the woman likes and wants then it's up to her to make the desicion of staying in an unfulfilled relationship OR to move on to a more satisfying one.
It was good of you not to hurt his feelings. Unfortunatelly, there could be other women who won't be that considerate with him. He should look for help with this problem; I suspect that he knows something isn't right, but perhaps he's embarrased and since you didn't say a thing he's not making the effort to get help. He could have premature ejaculation and that's why he's a "1 minute man".
How do you know it's not just because he's nervous in a new relationship? How do you know if this will resolve itself as he gets to know you better and becomes more comfortable with you? Did you really dump him because of this because if this was the only problem with this man you would have stuck around and discussed the issue at hand in an attempt to assist him.
IMHO...you were a bit hasty in this decision.
Reese
I agree with Reese. Early relationship sex may not be mind-blowing, heck, it can even be pretty bad until you get to know each other and get more comfortable with each other. He's been having sex with you for 3 weeks, but you don't know how long it was before you (or at least you don't say) that he had sex. He could still be out of practice or over-excited.
Besides, there is a LOT more to a relatinship than sex. Yes, it is important, but it can also improve with time and "practice". Also, you know what they say - you should be with someone that you have great conversation with because everything else fades in time.
You did the right thing because eventually you would have ended up resenting him, being disgusted by him and saying something horrible to him in the end.
If 2 people don't connect in the sack, the rest tends to go sour too. Sex is not everything but it ends up becoming a focal point. that and money.
Is bad sex the only reason you broke up? I am very much one to say that if you are really not digging a guy AND the sex is bad, then move on. However, if everything else about this guy was great, you definitely have options on the sex side (they can even be pretty fun!) there are books and articles on techniques to help a man who has issues with lasting power. There are several tantric texts that give specific instruction on techniques to deal with this.
YG
YG
http://twodatediva.blogspot.com/