Confusing Man

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Confusing Man
4
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 11:22am

So i went on my first date in like a year with someone thats a friend of a friend, i previously had met and talked to before. We had a great time and all that jazz, ended the nite with a simple kiss. He even did the future talk...next date and whatnot, and showed a lot of interest in who i am, and said how interested he was in me. (previously to goin out we had a great long phone conversation)...so....after the date he called me the next morning to chat and said that he'll call me back later, he never did. i texted him have a happy new year that nite, and havent heard from him vocally since. we myspaced a message or 2 back and forth, when i asked him if hed be interested in grabbin a drink and shooting some pool and he said he'd "be out thursday"......confusion?

why show so much of an interest and then be like non-existant? ive been outta the game for a while...but is that what men do nowadays? maybe thats why i stopped goin out with them! ha....anyways, i dont really care if i have a relationship with the guy, actually i didnt really see it goin anywhere in the first place. but he is still a friend of a friend and i wouldnt mind just shooting some pool and chillen with him, friendly stuff...i dunno....i guess i over think things....what do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 12:24pm
He really doesn't seem that interested in getting together, but maintaining casual contact by text. You did your deed so leave it up to him to call OR text you back. If your friend asks, you can thell him/her that the ball is his court.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 1:47pm

I agree with lightandbright, you put the ball in his court, now give him a chance to ask you out. If he doesn't then you know that he really is not interested. Sometimes men will do the future talk thing on a first date to be polite. I have a rule that I go by, if I don't have firm plans for a second date at the end of the first date, then I assume that there will be no second date. That way, I am not let down if the second date does not happen and if it does, then it is a pleasant surprise.

Good luck,
YG

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 5:00pm
thanks! i actually had emailed him since then a sincere email, saying basically how weird he's been and how a bit of honesty goes a long way....he emailed me back that his ex (broke up about 2 months ago) is still attached and on like a rampage and didnt like him going out with anyone so he has to deal with that before anything. so i emailed him back that i understand, good luck with that, and thanks for letting me know...and left it at that....i feel better now...thanks again!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 9:29pm
Unfortunately a lot of guys give mixed messages - it's frustrating and confusing. So let it go and if makes contact for a friendly game of pool, ok. As long as you have no expectations, that's terriric.
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