Do guys give 2nd chances to girls?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2006
Do guys give 2nd chances to girls?
2
Sun, 01-07-2007 - 5:56pm
Hey there - a guy or girl can answer this one, because Im just confused!! I know a lot of these are about wether the girl should give the guy the 2nd chance, but Im wondering if the guy ever considers giving the girl the 2nd chance. I was casually dating a guy for two months, that I really liked, and I really blew it at the end. I pushed and pushed, when I really shouldnt have - and I've admitted to it. I do know why I acted the way I did, although, not an excuse, but I had a lot going on, external of the dating and it took me stepping back to realize it & realize what was wrong. I don't blame him for not wanting to date me at that point - I wouldn't even have wanted to date me!! :) In the end, I had asked him, to give me a few weeks, get everything in my life back together & organized, and maybe would he consider giving me a second chance? All he could say at the time was "we will see" and it wouldn't have been fair to expect him to say any more than that at that time. The "agreement" is that I will be the one to contact him, just due to all the things that have been occupying my time. Which, its only been a week, and I am not ready to yet, but, over this week, I have realized so so much, like, this guy has had a crush on me long long long before he ever officially asked me out. I was just really blind to it! Instead of figuring this out before I said yes to him, and just relaxing about everything, and thinking that I was getting into a good thing, I am just figuring it out now, after a mess has already been made. Im just wondering, what are the chances that he would agree? The tough part about this, is that this is someone, regardless of what his answer will be, that I will see ALL the time. I will not be destroyed if he says no, although disappointed. He's not the only guy out there, but he is the first one in a long time, that I have had a connection with. I really would like for him to see me for who I really am, not for who I was a few weeks ago. Has anyone out there ever asked for a second chance and it was given to them? I'd appreciate anyone's answer! Thanks!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Sun, 01-07-2007 - 7:44pm

seeing as u've left the details of ur scenario quite vague, it's hard to say.

If by pushing, you mean you were bossing him about alot, then there's a good chance he might not want to go there again.

Maybe the best way to go about this is not to tell him u've changed, but to SHOW him. You said he's someone you're gonna see alot - perfect! When you're at occasions/parties, ACT like the sassy, relaxed and cool person you want to be, and show him you've turned over a new leaf. But I would say that still at the end of the day, you have to let him come to you. Usually if a boy wants you, he'll (eventually) make a move. if he wants to be with you again, i am sure he will approach u, esp. if he can see you're no longer the person he was afraid of.

but you also might have to accept the fact that what happened between you guys is not something that can be reversed. Are you sure this is the person for u? Or are you forcing it to work because you're feeling lonely now he's gone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 7:16am

fewquestions...

Pianoguy doesn't think there's a "one size fits all answer" to this?

Maybe it's because that there's such a broad difference between 'a little spat or misunderstanding as opposed to CAUSING SERIOUS PHYSICAL OR VERBAL DAMAGE TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING?

Since your situation sounds like the first scenerio, why not invite the man out for lunch or early dinner (your treat) and...assuming he's not involved with someone else...ask him if the 2 of you can give your friendship/relationship another try?

Pianoguy