I slept with my male housekeeper

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2007
I slept with my male housekeeper
3
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 2:06am

Hi Everyone
I don't know what I am doing. I am not sure if I am lonely or genuinely interested in him.
The guy lets call him Mike owns a cleaning company and they come and clean my house biweekly. He always flirts with me and tells me how cute I am and that he likes and we should hang out. He is funny and nice and I like the fact that he has seen me early in the morning without the fuss of makeup etc.

Anyway a couple of weeks ago, i finally emailed him and said HI. I thought we were supposed to hang out. He called me and we talked on and off during the week. We made plans to go to the movies.

We did not make it to the movies because he had to visit with his daughter unexpectedly. So he just came over and we watched movies and talked and made out.

He came over another day and we talked a lot and kissed etc. During the conversation, he expressed concern that he felt like we were breaking rules since he essentially "worked for me". I did not see it that way. Also, he is divorced and he said that he is not sure he is ready to make room for a relationship in his life. He has been hurt before and he is not sure it is worth the risk. I heard all of this but I am jsut so drawn to him. THe physical and mental attraction is incredible. He is a Scorpio and I am a pisces. Maybe this is not real what I am feeling. I am old enough (34 years old) to know when a man says something he means it. He can't offer a real relationship and I guess I need to hear that.

Anyway, we ended up having sex. He is 42years old and he also cleans a neighbor's house. I guess the situation is messy but I really liked him and his energy.

Should I still try to call him or just just say forget it? Is this a recipe for disaster?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 10:17am

It's a recipe for disaster primarily because he has told you he doesn't want a relationship - if you are looking for more than a hookup, then I think you need to leave this and find a new cleaning service.

Secondarily it is messy because he DOES work for you whether you see it that way or not. You are a client, you pay him to clean your house. It was unprofessional of him to enter into that relationship.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2006
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 6:51pm
Ditto. I think this is highly unprofessional and regardless of what ends up happening between you two you should find a new house cleaner. Also for some reason I find myself and my other female friends are professionals at not listening to guys when they tell us how they are feeling. If he says he's not into a relationship then he's not into a relationship. If you are 120% sure you don't want one either (just a sexual/play around friend) then fine. But please make sure what you want first.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sat, 01-13-2007 - 11:41pm

Well it's his company isn't it, so the rules he'd be breaking would be his own, and that's his

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