How Long Should You wait to Date Again?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
How Long Should You wait to Date Again?
8
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 4:49pm
Briefly been divorced a year. During to the speration prior to divorce I meet and feel in love with the bext man ever. For reasons that I am not going to get into involveing other aspects of my life, I broke up with him about a month ago, but we are still in touch. A friend asked me out, there is a mild attraction, but not the once in a life time thing that I had with my ex, I told him we could have lunch is a few weeks. Now I obviously know that I need time to heal and that no one with be like my ex, but how long should I wait?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 8:20pm
How long were you with the ex? That would sway my answer... but honestly, you're ready to date again when you feel you are. Only you will know ultimately.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 8:32pm

How long were you married, and how long were you with the man you just ended things with? That's not the *only* factor in determining how long it'll take you to get over things, but it is an important factor.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 11:42am

<< Now I obviously know that I need time to heal and that no one with be like my ex, but how long should I wait?>>

Hmmmm, I'd say that when you find yourself no longer saying "no one could compare" ... that you'll be ready. Otherwise, if you're dating but comparing others in your life to the "once in a lifetime" thing you had with your ex then ... you're not really giving anyone new a fair chance ...nor are you truly ready to be dating, if you're still holding onto the romantic feelings you have for your ex.

Good luck! Give it time and be patient with yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 10:40pm
Usually it is best to wait until you become emotionally available again. The time frame varies upon the situation and the person.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2005
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 5:23pm
I agree with this too. it just depends upon how strong and mentally prepared you are to go out with this person.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 6:56pm
definitely, strong and prepared. also, one would have to be open to experiencing love and joy and pain and hurt all over again. the wounds need to heal so that if one gets hurt by the next person (even innocently) it doesnt tear open the old wounds, so that one is really dating the new person that they are dating and not working through the old stuff with the new person.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sun, 01-21-2007 - 2:07pm
It' sounds like you're not talking about ex husband but the guy you broke up with a month ago? If you broke up with him for other reasons involving things happening in your life, won't they apply with this new guy as well? And it's only been a month - it certainly sounds like you have deep feelings for this more recent ex...
,
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Sun, 01-21-2007 - 9:04pm
I am talking about the guy I broke up with a month ago. Yes, I still have deep feelings for him etc. Not the issues will not apply to the new guy, becasue the issue involve the level of commitment my ex-boyfriend wanted. Yu are right about moving into a new relationship. I think I just want casually date maybe or maybe wait a while