Have i been used? Does he not care?
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Have i been used? Does he not care?
| Wed, 01-17-2007 - 3:12pm |
I have been dating or going out with this guy for about a year now. I have a car and he doesn't so i do all the driving, pick him up, go shopping with him etc. Recently he just came back from holidays, being away for over a month, i missed him so bad and he missed me too. He was back a week ago today (i also picked him up from the airport), and since then i saw him twice, one of the reasons why only that because i have kids and my time is limited. Last Sunday, after my kids left for the week to be with their dad, i called and as it's routine, i was going over to his place for the night. He told not too because his guy friend was comming over, and made other lame excuses. I got mad and hung up on him. It's been 3 days since that phone call, and he has not even called me. This is really bugging me i feel like i'm in love with this guy, i'm feeling hurt and this silence is killing me..I don't know what to do. Any advice? Thanks to all that reply.

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He was gone for a month. Maybe he kind of forgot your "routine" and unfortunately made other plans. His excuses were "lame" in your mind, but how do you know that they were not the truth? He hasn't seen his friends in over a month either and you just ASSUMED that everything would fall back into the EXACT same routine as you had before he left. Is he not "allowed" to forget, make other plans or hang out with friends? Or maybe he was tired of the "routine" as you call it. He made plans and they didn't include you and when he told you that, instead of acting like an adult and saying, "I'm disappointed, but let's just get together another night this week. What works for you?" you get all pissy and hang up the phone on him and give HIM the silent treatment as well.
There was immaturity, misunderstanding and wrong-doing on both parts and it continues. YOu can either be the bigger person and not throw away a 1 year relationship over something so ridiculous and call him or you can continue to pout because he didn't drop everything to spend every moment with you when he has a right to do what he wants and be with whoever he wants too.
He is giving you the silent treatment and is waiting for an apology from you. If you don't wanna call him back wait for him to break down and call you. If he has a timid personality, he may call you back but it may not be this week. So its up to you.
If he had these plans set up in advance then his fault lies in not telling you as early as he could. However it is not as bad as you treating him like you did. But i understand your frustration since this seems to be a critical week. You both owe each other an apology.
Well, first, quit with the obessive texting and calling. You've made your message quite clear that you are trying to get a hold of him. It was good that you apologized too because you were in the wrong in some of this.
Another observation I want to make is that you said he was off on the anniversary by a day. Are you serious - you got picky over ONE DAY?!? Generally, guys are not into anniversaries like women are. The actual DAY to them usually means very little - they don't write it on their day planner with little hearts surrounding it. If you gave him a hard time about having the day wrong too, I don't blame him for getting a little fed up. Should he be a man and just tell you he is fed up instead of giving you the silent treatment? Yes, he should.
But in any case, just quit calling and texting him. If he is going to let it go like this after a year, you want more than that anyway. But calling and texting over and over is still not going to get him to pick up unless he wants to or perhaps out of sheer exasperation.
I'd reread that post to vexer.
What are you getting from this relationship???
I would never be with a guy that I had to chauffer around. A man has to be self sufficient to date me. I am not a very shallow person I don't require a whole lot to date me but they have to have a job, a place of their own and their own means of getting around whether it's a car, a taxi cab or a bus pass because I'm not driving someone around all over god's creation.
You drive him around, you lend him money, you buy him things. Seems to me as though you give and give and all he does is take. What exactly are you getting from this relationship??? Sounds like he's getting a whole lot.
Stop calling him, stop texting him. You've made it clear you are anxious to talk to him and want to be with him. Step back and let the guy step up and make an effort for you for a change.
Smile,
Deirdre
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