need advice on what to do now!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2007
need advice on what to do now!
2
Sun, 01-21-2007 - 11:14pm

Okay, so this is my first post on this website, but I really would appreciate some insight! I will give you the background story, sorry if it is long!

So I took a class with this guy last semester, and slowly throughout the semester we got to know eachother. I secretly had a crush on him the whole time, and he started to show friendly interest early on in the semester. However, we only talked during class and all that. Then, towards finals time, we started getting together to study, and we just found out how much we had in common, and we started talking more. Long story short, we have gone out a few times and we talk on the phone every few days. He told me that he is interested in me and that he definately wants to get to know me better. After that conversation, we went out again and we ended up kissing and all that later that night, and he told me how much he likes me and what he likes about me. Well, we are both very busy people, but he only calls a couple times a week, and we only talk for about ten minutes. I've called him a couple of times, but I don't want to be annoying, so I don't know what to do. We don't really talk about future times to hang out unless it is a couple days right before. This is probably not a very good explanation of the story, but I guess I just don't know if he is really interested. The way that he talks and treats me makes me think he does, but then he doesn't call very much or make plans ahead of time to hang out. We have been "talking" for over a month now, and I'm wondering if I should ask him where he thinks this is going.

any tips?
I know I probably just shouldn't care, and let things happen, but that is hard for me to do because I do not find a lot of people that I am interested in dating, but I really like this guy, and it seems like everytime I find someone I like, they never really want a relationship, and I am sick of that. I am such a busy person that I don't want him to waste my time if he is not serious about it. Is it too soon to ask?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 9:13am

It sounds like this man is Mr. Spontaneous and not very good at making plans. Since you have known him for a few months, it might be a good time to have a light conversation with this guy about whether he is interested in a relationship or not. No sense in wasting your time with a guy who is very busy but likes to see you intermittently.

It isn't what "he thinks is going on" but more what you want to happen.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 6:22am

Agree with the previous poster, except I think it's too soon to have a talk with him. And yes...it's as much about what YOU want as what he wants.

I spent too many years trying to get men to want me. I wish I had realized much earlier that I'm a gorgeous woman who any man would be lucky to have in his life. I say make him jump a little.

Sounds like you really like him...I'd just give it more time to see what happens. Plus, I'd be a little less available...not witholding...just busy with your life.