getting beyond platonic
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| Mon, 01-22-2007 - 2:34am |
I met this guy more than a month ago. We hit it off and we started getting together. Last three weekends we've gone out. During the week he instant messages every morning after we both get to work and we catch up. Sometimes he phones me in the evening. We've gone out to lunch a few times and gotten together for drinks during the week. I like him. His company makes me happy.
The only thing is that he hardly touches me. He pecks me on the lips after a date, but it might as well be on the cheek. He might hold my elbow so I won't fall when there is no pavement, but he doesn't do anything else. Does this mean he is not interested in me or is he being over-respectful or what? Can you suggest what I can do that will make him less "respecful" but not stop respecting me? I don't want him to think I'm a slut.
Should I just wait until he is ready or is there some way to give him the hint that I am ready for more?

Tell him you need a good HUG.
Get yourself a nice full body hug.
Hugs can communicate all sorts of things and you can learn soooo much and ....its just a hug.
Just melt into his arms. Smell him and you let him smell you.
If he smells bad you can back off it was just a hug. LOL
He will get the idea its ok to really touch you and go a little further.
If you do it long enough you just might find out if he likes it a lot. LOL
Good luck
Well, I did that yesterday night, but nothing happened. He held my hand until we got to the car, but he didn't squeeze it or anything. I have also been touching him a little in conversation--like I'll pat his forearm to get his attention when I'm going to make a point. He smiles down at me, but doesn't seem real excited if you know what I mean.
I don't want the guy to overcome me with passion, but maybe a hug?
Has he discussed past relationships and philosophies abuot love and sex. Has he acted like he is attracted to you. Have you tried to give more than a peck and what was his reaction?
You can always do the tried and true come over for dinner and DVDS and maybe snuggling?
Hi cutiepy,
Not much progress yet. We now hold hands, but I'm getting impatient. I thought the man was supposed to be the sexually aggressive one. I did sort of hug him hello when he came to pick me up for a date on Friday, and he didn't pull back, but he didn't really get into the hug either.
How goes it for you? (What is it with these guys anyway?)
Mame
He talks about relationships but not about physical things. He holds my hand now, sort of. The first time he took my hand I squeezed it affectionately. He almost let go.
I hugged him hello on Friday. He seemed a little startled so I am not sure what would happen if I moved my lips when he was pecking me on the lips or ... what? I'm not all that experienced. I was married for years and years and before that I was practically a virgin when I married.
This is crazy. Men are supposed to want sex. I don't want to seduce him. He might think I was a bad woman or something.
Should I ask him if he really cares about me? I am afraid that if I bring it out into the open he will get upset and leave.
Mame
Hi Mame,
No luck at all here. We went out last weekend, as usual there were no signs. He finished off the date with a "I'll call you again sometime." (bleah) It's been a week now and I haven't heard from him. I invited him to join myself and a few friends for drinks on Saturday (yesterday), but I just left a message. I'm pretty much throwing in the towel. I've never been very good at letting guys I like just go, but I don't really have a choice do I?
I'd still like to keep up with how things are going with you though!
Helen