slightly confused....Please HELP!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2006
slightly confused....Please HELP!!!!
1
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 5:57pm

Okay so a year ago I met this guy we hit it off immediatly, after knowing each other for a while and looking to try and start a relationship between us he suddenly announces he has a rule.. His rule is before he dates someone he has to sleep with them because if its not good its not worth keeping around.. so basically this caused some conflict and tension between us and it was because I was still a virgin and he clearly wanted a very sexual relationship.. we had many fights but always seemed able to go back to each other and be friends again. Our recent fight was in November we had a fight and it was our longest time spent apart. Our fight was november to middle of january. I missed him and constantly thought of him. So he started talking to me and told me it was a new year and he had a new attitude.. So when we started talking again I told him we both wanted different things from the relationship he said I was wrong. I told him I was ready to sleep with him because its honestly what I want.. and his response to me was " relax and just let it happen"

My question is by his answer should I be thinking he isnt interested in being with me like that or he doesnt want to rush it because he sees long term potential with us...I would really like some insight.. I am confused because he did have that rule and now he seems suddenly different... Any advice would help!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 6:46pm

Okay first of all, I have to comment on this guys so called "Rule!" I have to admit I was a tad outraged by this 'rule,' it is very selfish and seemingly immature. Sex is NOT the foundation to a relationship it is simply the icing on the cake. If he views sex as the most important aspect of the relationship RUN HONEY RUN!!! You don't want to be with a guy who only sees you as a sex toy. You want to be with someone who will cherish, love and respect you. This 'rule' is by no means respecting a woman! Now I admit sex is a very important in a relationship but only for those who truly are ready and want it in their relationship. It is a mutual thing . . . both parties have to be ready and want it.

I think this sounds like too high of a risk for you! Why would you want to even consider giving him any part of you? Although, if you want to see I would say WAIT! Words are cheap let him show you he has changed. Until he's proven it to you I wouldn't slip between the sheets with this guy!

Remember you deserve the world . . . make him give it to you!