Need comment please.. he won't call!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2005
Need comment please.. he won't call!!!
3
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 8:41pm
Hello, Just need some insight on this... We have a long distance relationship and it's been pretty hard on me. (He travels for work but he lives in a different state)and We've only been dating for couple months. Past wednesday I had a discussion about how he doesn't make much effort to see me when he can. Long story short, this went on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday where we talked normal, laughed, made jokes, and fought all over the phone. Friday, I told him that he has to come up with a solution otherwise it won't work like this... and he said He would come up with something but as we got to talking, I got angry, and hung up angry. He texted me friday night, then called me saturday but I had my phone off. Now since Saturday, he hasn't called. And he is coming up to tomorrow. I realize its only monday but for someone who's always called even when we fought, it seems a little weird. He doesn't seem to be the type to just stop calling but apparently he is. Can anyone comment on what is going on?? Its driving me crazy that he won't call!!!! What could've happened from Friday to now that he just decided that he woudl give up?? The conversations we've had wasn't all negative... He doesn't want me to give up but has he???
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 2:20am

<<<....I had a discussion about how he doesn't make much effort to see me when he can. ....>>>

IMHO, this could have caused him not to call you. This statement is accusatory and he could have changed his mind about the relationship. Noone likes to be accused not to make enough effort to see the other. To top it all off, you demanded that he come with a solution or the relationship will end.

I'd wait to see if he comes up and then talk about it, BUT in nicer terms, not accusing him. Try to reach middle ground. A couple of months dating is too short to be demanding things in the terms that you've done so. He may rather cut his losses and move on.

Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 10:59am
He's tried getting in touch with you twice. How many times do you expect him to keep calling? This post makes it seem that you want him to grovel.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 12:39pm

He DID call after the fight. He tried to get in touch with you twice - a text and a call. Have you bothered to call him BACK from those two communications? Some how I'm thinking not. Ball is in YOUR court now. To me it sounds like he thinks he gave his effort with the text and phone call and that why should he bother to call again since he's made two efforts to get in touch with you to not hear back. It is YOUR responsibility to respond to him now not his to continue to try to get in touch with you when he's already gotten no response to two efforts. Why should he continue to bang his head against a wall when it's not working.

He's probably also thinking you'll fly off the handle and get mad at him again. No, HE doesn't have to come up with a solution the TWO of you need to come up with a solution. Why is everything on him - you make HIM stay in contact (do you call him??), you tell HIM that HE has to come up with a solution to this (do you hold no accountability in this relationship at all). Hon, relationships are TWO WAY STREETS. It requires compromise, conversation and effort on both sides. You have to work WITH him and not just make demands of him.

You said he doesn't want you to give up but maybe he's viewing that since you haven't bothered to return his communications that you HAVE given up and he's letting it lie until he hears from you. Quit playing by the "rules" or quit being pouty and just call him back! It's YOUR turn.

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